Thursday, March 29, 2007

Anything Worth Keeping Is Worth Fighting For - Should You Fight For Or Dump Him or Her?

Relationships bring out the best and worst qualities within us -but why?

The people we are attracted to and often have a relationship with represent all the things we like and dislike about ourselves. When they reflect to us the qualities of ourselves we like, we are happy and everything is smooth sailing, but when they reflect the qualities of ourselves that we don't particularly life, we get defensive, confrontational, unloving and sometimes we run away from the relationship. But what we're really doing is running away from ourselves.

So before you dump him/her you should have all the answers to these questions.

1. Is he/she worth it? What are the qualities that you see in him/her that add something to the relationship?

2. What do you see as faults/deficiencies in him/ her?

3. What and how do these faults/deficiencies remind you of your own issues? Dig deep and ask yourself why it bothers you?

4. What have you done this far to make peace with the little buggers? The emphasis here is "make peace" not "get rid of". Attempting to get rid of the little buggers (dump him/her) is attempting to get rid of yourself.

5. Can you figure out a way to get your voice, needs, wants, desires etc. met while at the same time making sure that his/her needs, wants, desires etc. are being met? If you have not already done it, this is the time to begin the process to change the things about you that you don't want in the other person.

By being aware that the person you are with is really your own reflection in someone else, you are not only setting a stage for understanding him/her better but for understanding yourself better as well. Until you start to value others for who they are (a reflection of yourself), and not for what they can do for you, you will keep running from one reflection of yourself to another.

You are the only common denominator in all of your relationships! And everywhere you go, your issues come with you!

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