Monday, April 30, 2007

Why Attractive Men Get The Most Women And What You Can Do About It

So we all saw it in high school. The jock/pretty boy was the guy that always got the hottest chick. You see it everywhere. Good looking guys never have problems with girls. Of course this leads a lot of people to believe that girls are shallow and ugly guys don't stand a chance with all of the gorgeous women around today – which is entirely untrue. But still you need to ask the question… Why is it, if looks don't matter, that attractive men always get attractive girls....

So we all saw it in high school. The jock/pretty boy was the guy that always got the hottest chick. You see it everywhere. Good looking guys never have problems with girls. Of course this leads a lot of people to believe that girls are shallow and ugly guys don't stand a chance with all of the gorgeous women around today – which is entirely untrue. But still you need to ask the question… Why is it, if looks don't matter, that attractive men always get attractive girls....

Why Attractive Men Seem to Get the Most Women

So we all saw it in high school. The jock/pretty boy was the guy that always got the hottest chick. You see it everywhere. Good looking guys never have problems with girls. Of course this leads a lot of people to believe that girls are shallow and ugly guys don't stand a chance with all of the gorgeous women around today – which is entirely untrue. But still you need to ask the question… Why is it, if looks don't matter, that attractive men always get attractive girls.

Let's break it down. Starting around age 12-13 is when most girls and boys start to experience feelings for the opposite sex. Girls have had a few little crushes here and there on guys, but most of the time they haven't talked to the guy that much and the attraction is mostly based on his looks. Well they go up to the guy and tell them that they like him, and the guy… Well his confidence goes through the roof.

Around the start of high school, those same good looking guys have been getting all of this attention and are starting to dislike some girls more than others, and are deciding that they should be the choosers since so many girls are attracted to them. Their personalities change to cocky and funny, where they tease lots of girls because they don't give a fuck if the girl likes them or not. They find more important things than girls and don't call them back right away when the girls ask them too, or pay them much attention to girls at all. They display value to a girl, unconsciously, and seem to be able to attract any girl that they want. Something sound familiar?

Good looking guys are players because their minds have been molded by females in their earlier years. And now, decades after the elementary days when girls only cared about looks, it is their pick up artist type personality that attracts the girls. Now I'm not saying that women don't like handsome guys, but at the same time, girls aren't as shallow as most men think. If Tom Cruz was a boring guy, he wouldn't have gotten married to whoever that girl is. Same for [insert current famous gorgeous male actor here]. Looks will give a guy a head start, but it does nothing to create a bond or rapport with a woman.

So where do you stand on the scale? Are you a 8/10 on looks? A 6? Maybe a 3? It doesn't matter. If you can take on the personality that natural alpha males and players are able to do on their own, women will associate you with that kind of guy. It won't matter if you are balding because you are the funniest guy out there. It won't matter if you are chubby because you make her work for your attention and you act like you have a higher status than her. The only reason attractive guys get laid is because of their attractive guy personality – so if you can encompass that personality, there is no excuse for you not getting some BOOTY!

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Friday, April 27, 2007

Quiz- What Kind Of Relationships Survive?

Do you not ask yourself about the relationships that survive? Do you not wonder when you find a couple in love with each other after years of being together? Are you interested in a relationship that may break down or one that survives? What should you look for? Let us discuss.

Attraction- I had once asked a question on a forum. It was- what kind of partner you like? What are the qualities that you are for? I got many answers. Some wanted intelligent partner. Some wanted smart partner. Some wanted a partner with sense of humor. Some were looking for maturity. Everybody had different ideas about the partner. I need a partner who will respect me, said one. I need a partner who I can respect said another. I am looking for a successful career person. Some body who is self-confident, said third and so on. The reply that attracted me most was- I am looking for a partner who is strongly attracted towards me.

That was the answer to the whole theory of partnership. You may have the most intelligent, smart, good looking, successful, leader and a person with all the qualities as your partner. But what if your partner is not attracted towards you? Will your relationship survive-certainly not.

If you are strongly attracted towards your partner and if your partner is equally attracted towards you, you will survive in the relationship for a much longer time. If both of you happen to share common interests and respect each other for your qualities, nothing better than that in my opinion. No partnership can survive if the partners do not get attracted to each other. The foundation of a relationship is attraction. Nothing else works. Call it initial infatuation, call it love, and call it romance. Give any word to this attraction, but you must have that to begin with. Compromise here is a sure recipe of failure.


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

How to Catch Someone Who Is Cheating Online

The most used method nowadays used with cheating spouse is by them cheating online. Cheating online, to many eyes, is not really cheating. In truth though, it truly is. It means to lust after another. It is almost the same thing as going out to meet someone that your spouse lusts after with the only difference is, is that they are not having any physical touch, just emotional. In this article we will review different ways to catch your spouse cheating online.

One best known device to see if your spouse is cheating online is chat rooms. Most spouses that are cheating online will go to chat rooms to meet members of the opposite sex. This is a very popular venue for cheating online, and has been used billions of times by millions of people to do so. The best way to catch your spouse cheating online is to first try to find out which chat rooms they visit. You need to know which chat room they go into, and what method they use to get there. There are many methods to joining chat rooms. You can join them through websites, messengers, or through irc clients.

Once you have figured out where they go to, and how to get there you need to find another computer that is not in your house. Most usually a friend, or acquaintance will have a computer to utilize for this. Once you have found a computer, you need to get to the chat room they go to at the same time they are known to be in it. You need to change your name so they cannot recognize it. You want to keep secret who you are so that way you can catch them cheating online.

Once you get into the chat room with a different name then proceed to flirt with your spouse. Try to get their attention. Use all the flirting methods that you know to do so. After this is implementing proceed to get them into a private conversation with you. Once in the private conversation ask them if they are married. If they say no then you, right there, have caught them cheating online. If they say yes then continue to ask them questions like "so does your husband, or wife know that you come here?" Usually a cheating spouse will deny that their spouses know. Then ask "So what brings you here? Looking for some fun on the side?" Once they have answered yes, then you have caught them cheating online.

Another way to find out if your spouse is cheating online is to look for anything peculiar in their logs, or documents. See if something strange stands out to you. Like a file with a weird name to it, or even look in the folders that seem normal to you to see if you can find anything to prove that they are cheating online. Sometimes people that are cheating online will leave a little something that they do not really think is harmful to them when it truly is.


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

9 Signs of a Cheating Husband

Ladies, do you suspect your husband of cheating on you? One study reported that 59% of men admitted cheating on their wives, so it's not just a paranoid fantasy. It can and does happen, but how do you know if it's happening to you? Here are 9 signs that your husband may be cheating on you.

1) He carries condoms, and you are on the pill. Men are alway whining about having to use condoms, so you can bet that no man would use one if he doesn't have to. So, why does he have to? Who is he trying to keep from becoming pregnant, or catch an STD from?

2) You find unexplained scratches or bruises on his neck or back. It's very hard to scratch or bruise your own back, and it's not likely to happen accidentally.

3) He suddenly wants to try new sex techniques. Who is he practicing for, or who has he been practicing with?

4) His clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume. True, a department store sales clerk could have sprayed it on him, but how likely is that?

5) You see lipstick on your husband's shirt. No wonder men want to get right to it. Foreplay leaves evidence.

6) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car. You can't be cool with a child seat in your car. Besides that, it's a clue that there might be a child in his life, and, where there's a child, there's probably a woman. Definitely, not the image you want to project to the "other woman."

7) He works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub. If your husband is a salaried worker, you may have to give him a pass on this. If he's paid by the hour, though, he may be putting in overtime, but it's not at his job.

8) You find unexplained receipts, more frequent ATM withdrawals, and unexplained credit card charges. Note any strange dates and times. Is there a restaurant charge when he should have been at work? Cheating can be expensive.

9) He uses the computer late at night (when you're already in bed) or for an unusual amount of time. He uses free email services, such as hotmail, msn, yahoo, gmail, hushmail, etc. He quickly closes his web browser when you suddenly walk into the room. Looks like he might be hiding something, doesn't it?

Women often beat themselves up when they discover their husband is cheating. We ask ourselves, what did I do wrong, or, worse, what's wrong with me? That's usually a mistake. Unlike women, men often cheat just for sex or for the ego boost a new conquest gives them. That doesn't make it better, but it does mean that he often doesn't have the emotional connection to his lover that he does to his wife and family. If you want to save your marriage, there's a good chance that you can. It's up to you to decide if you want to try.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Man Confidence

We know that women love their men strong and confident. They love a man that will embrace them and someone who can admit to his mistakes. This article is meant to make issues about men's confidence a little clearer.

Confidence can only start with right attitude and positive thinking. You have to work on insecurities instead of letting them affect your everyday life. First and foremost you have to believe in yourself because how can you show confidence if you don't have self belief.

Two many guys deal with what ifs. You can what if everything you do but living like that will just get you depressed. You have to watch your own confidence so if it's lacking then you have to work on it.

First of all appearance does matter. That doesn't mean you have to attain Hollywood looks to have confidence. Boyish good looks, magnetism, or big bulging muscles isn't all it has to be. The important part is to look neat and tidy. Let your charm radiate from within. It really is the simple things that count. Make sure you open doors for girls, get a cab for her. You can be a knight in shining honor with out a white steed.

Another thing to remember is that girls like bad boys. I don't mean bad boys through criminal behavior but more through mystery and excitement. These kinds of guys are just happy to be themselves. They don't need approval to be liked. Bad boys exude confidence, individuality, and masculinity.

Guys without confidence are always looking for approval from women. They always act needy and desperate. Guys like this don't have the confidence to build a relationship so they try and buy relationships with expensive gifts and taking the girls to classy restaurants. Well this might be nice it's not what women are really looking for in a man.

Women just want a man that's not scared to show his feelings or to share their feelings. She wants someone that will listen and someone who will give her a hug. Sex is important but any girl would put sex second if she has a strong guy who will be there for her

Dale Mazurek

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Monday, April 16, 2007

How Learning To Love Yourself Can Build Better Romantic Relationships

One of the great things about being in a romantic relationship and knowing that someone is unconditionally in love with you is that it makes you feel wonderful about yourself. You see, healthy romantic relationships have a way of starting an amazing, unstoppable cycle: the more you fall in love with someone, the better you feel about yourself . . . and the better you feel about yourself, the more you are able to love someone.

The old cliche about "love thyself" is some of the best advice a romantic person can get to build a better, more loving relationship. I'm not taking about vain or conceited self-love; that type of mirror-gazing doesn't bring much to a romantic relationship. But feeling good about yourself, and being proud of yourself and the things you do, is one of the first steps we take in nurturing a healthy romance with another person.

We often discover wonderful things about ourselves when we're in love and are able to look through our lover's eyes. Just like hearing your own voice for the first time on a recording, seeing yourself through your romantic partner's eyes can be a surprising event. You may be initially skeptical to discover the reasons why your significant other loves you. You mean they love that about me? And they're proud of me for what?

Yes, it's true! Your romantic partner really is in love with you because of many qualities that you don't like about yourself or that you may have overlooked. And finding out what those things are might just help you appreciate those qualities in yourself, too.

Discovering the reasons why your sweetheart loves you can be a humbling, eye-opening experience that can help you appreciate your own good qualities even more. And by learning to appreciate your own good qualities, you'll be better able to give your lover more of what they love about you.

So if you haven't told your romantic partner what it is you love about them, today is the day to do it. It just might help them appreciate good qualities about themselves that they didn't realize they had.

And be sure to ask your lover, in return, to tell you what it is they love about you. You'll be amazed at how learning to love yourself more can improve your romantic relationship.

If you liked this article, I hope you'll visit Romance Tracker for to see the rest!

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

The Pros and Cons of Using Drugs and Alcohol to Deal With Shyness

Are you shy? If you suffer from extreme shyness, you have probably wished there was a pill you could take that would make all your shyness just go away.

Researchers have discovered that some anti-depressant medications, particularly the kind called SSRI's (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors), can help people who suffer from a condition called social anxiety disorder to become more sociable.

This class of drugs seems to help people who are socially anxious to turn down the excessive volume of their inner judgmental thoughts.

Is it a good idea to take a pill to make you friendlier? There are pros and cons to be considered when deciding whether to take a drug for social anxiety. The SSRI drugs can cause insomnia, weight gain, nervous agitation, and a loss of sexual desire, as well as many other less common side effects. These drugs can also be quite expensive.

Because the SSRI drugs are relatively new, it is not yet known what the long-term effects of this class of drugs may be. Some doctors are concerned that society is trying to medicate shyness which is a normal human condition.

Yet many shy people who are overwhelmed with negative feelings of anxiety when they are around others turn to these medications to deal with their social anxiety.

When using SSRI medications, the improvement in sociability only lasts as long as the drug is taken on a regular basis. When the drug is discontinued, the symptoms of shyness will likely reappear.

Using Illegal Drugs Or Alcohol To Cope With Shyness

Many people who are shy or who have a fear of being rejected by others, try to deal with their fears by getting drunk or taking illegal drugs whenever they are at a party or in a social situation. This can be a dangerous way to try to deal with shyness or a fear of social rejection.

Have you developed the habit of drinking lots of alcohol or using illegal drugs so that you can relax around others and just let loose? Getting very drunk or stoned at parties so that you overcome your sensations of feeling anxious is very common with people who feel inadequate or shy.

There are many dangers with this approach, and it does not lead to any positive solutions.

You won't be at your best when you are intoxicated, and the people that you meet when you are drunk or stoned will only get to know your intoxicated self, not your real self. By abusing alcohol or drugs you also increase the risk of other negative outcomes such as getting into arguments and fights, and having serious accidents.

One danger of course is that you can become physically and psychologically addicted to drugs or alcohol. Eventually the addiction can cause even more serious problems in your life than the problems you started out with. If you rely on drugs and alcohol to get the courage to deal with other people, you will never develop the social and emotional skills needed to make real emotional connections to others.

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Learning to Love Yourself With Self-Improvement

Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities overwhelm us, we come up with the idea of "I wish I was somebody else." More often than not we think and believe that someone, or even most people, are better than us, when in reality, the fact is that most people are more scared than we are. Learning to love yourself is part of the process of being both real and happy. Forget the "I will be happy when..." and learn to accept things as they are now.

For example, at a party, you spot an attractive girl casually sipping a long drink. You think to yourself, "she looks so perfectly calm and confident." But if you could read her mind, you might see a dark clouds of thoughts and be amazed that she's thinking "are people wondering why I am seated here on my own?" - "Why don't guys find me attractive?" - "I don't like my ankles, they look too skinny" - "I wish I was as clever as my best friend."

We look at a young businessman and say "Hey what else could he ask for?" Yet he sees himself at the mirror and says to himself, "I hate my big nose, I wonder why my friends won't talk to me, I hope mum and dad can still work things out."

Isn't it curious? When we look at other people we envy them for being so obviously perfect and we wish we could swap places with them. They look at us and think the same thing. We are as insecure as other people who themselves are as insecure as us. We suffer from the same low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she's around, and she doesn't notice how socially handicapped she is becoming and gradually affecting the people around her.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like "do you think I am ill-mannered?", "Do I always sound so argumentative?", "Do I talk too loud?", "Does my breath smell?", "Do I ever bore you when were together?". In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don't give her answers like "Don't exaggerate! That's just the way I am!" Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.

George Benson sang in one of his great songs: "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." True because in order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people how to improve themselves, let them see that you are an example of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, able to inspire others then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourself as somehow second-rate. Forget the repetitive thought of "If only I was richer" "if only I was thinner" and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and start comparing only to ourselves; that way we can see self-improvement in action as we improve.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, and so on. But life need not be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and learning to love yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It's the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

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Sunday, April 08, 2007

Betrayed By Love

A beautiful woman can inspire a person to do just about anything. But it is their heart that reveals the character of the person. Beware she can capture you through lies of love. She can be an instrument of Satan who wants to deceive you and lead you down to a trap that is meant for your destruction.

In the game of life one of the biggest players is our emotions. Feelings can make a person become jealous and words of love can make a soul willing to give anything in order to have that love.

When I was young I fell head over heals in love. This person made my heart jump. She made me want to defy all things just to have her love. But after many years of being together we both went our separate ways.

But the love never ended between us. It stayed in both of our hearts and we would talk often on the phone. She was a decorator and I was an upholster and it was only natural for us to continue our mutual business even though she was with another person. She ran the business and paid me for my upholster services. We worked as business partners and best friends who shared a past, that was all.

Over the years we shared stories about our children and we prayed together for their lives and for each of our grandchildren as each of them were born. We always stated our love for each other. Even though we were going down different roads.

After three and a half years everything changed she broke up with the person she was with. It seemed only natural for me to believe that we could once again be together. But this time things were very different.

When we first departed company, finances were tight, so in an effort to help I took out a mortgage on my home and I handed over the money to my ex, with the understanding that she would make the mortgage payment every month.

But she was desperate again and as a result I began making the payment. That wasn't enough, she needed more money in order to pay bills that she had that were outstanding so she could leave the person she was with.

I believed everything she said, trusting that she was telling me the truth when she said that she was coming back to me. She kept assuring me that she loved me and she would use the money to get untangled from the person she was with. Out of complete trust and love, I gave her several thousand dollars.

A month passed and she continued to tell me of how bad it was to be where she was and how the person she was with didn't love her anymore. She explained how hard it was for her to leave because everything in the house was hers, but the house itself was the other persons.

She complained the business they ran together was failing and the upholstery business wasn't doing well either. She said in order for her to leave she needed to get the taxes done and lay down guidelines for her partner of how to pay each bill since she had always handled the business side.

Everything she said made since and being of high moral character, I didn't want to bring harm of any kind on the person she was with. So I began doing all upholstery free of charge and I paid for supplies, material, foam and even gas to go pick up the furniture I was doing for them.

I could see their relationship was strained. But I was careful not to ask how they were doing respecting their privacy and knowing the plans that we were making after they had totally parted company.

Two more months passed and she continued to state her love to me and that she was coming back to me. So when her partner went on a trip she invited me to her house. I went because we hadn't been together for several years and that way we could talk about the next step of her getting out of the house.

I was disturbed that she was still wearing a wedding ring on her hand and that she still slept in the same bed with her partner. She handed me a group of pictures she had kept of myself and my children and I asked her if she was still coming back to me?

She assured me that she was coming back to me. She had had enough from the emotional ups and downs of her partner, who was eighteen years younger than her and she felt a deep connection and love between us. She said that she was wearing the rings out of habit. And that she was just protecting the pictures she had of me from her partner. She denied that she was sleeping in the same bed.

Then she told me she had come up with a plan to get her furniture out of the house. She would tell her partner that she was selling the furniture we had once owned together back to me. I listened to what she said but I was unwilling to give her money at that time. I left her house and went four hours back to my home.

Everything she said to me made my heart break. I loved her and I wanted her back and if this is what it was going to take, I was willing to give her everything I had to help. She called me telling me that her partner would break her stuff if I didn't do this. Priceless memories of our life together would be destroyed.

Plans were made, and I met them with the newly reupholstered furniture. I wrote another check for the furniture, pictures and art pieces that were suppose to be the beginning of her leaving her partner.

In two days we were to meet again with another load until we had emptied the house of everything we had together as a couple. She said her partner was stupid and would never suspect what she was doing until she was out of the house for good.

We made plans to rendezvous together on the in between days. So we could be together and talk out plans. It all seemed fair and reasonable to me. Or maybe I am the most gullible person in the world. She called and wanted to postpone us meeting together until the next week, I agreed.

The check I wrote to her cleared the bank and suddenly she stopped calling me. I emailed her to see what was happening and she had cut off the email. I was stunned and shocked over her behavior and I did not understand what was going on.

I left messages on the phone and my calls were not returned. She had stated over and over again that she loved me. She assured me that she was coming back to me.

I didn't know how to handle her betrayal and her utter contempt for my feelings. The pain I felt was a crushing blow when I realized she not only had stabbed me in the heart, but she had taken ten's of thousands of dollars from me without any intention of paying it back.

I felt ashamed and asked God to help me to survive the pain. I wasn't allowed to communicate and the pain of heart break brought an emptiness inside of my being that was excruciating. I felt as if I was being punished for love.

There is no justice for fools. The check could not be stopped because it already cleared. Going to an attorney to sue would just prolong my pain from the deceit and cost me more money. The agreement we had together was verbal. Even though I confessed my plans to my children I did not tell them I was giving her money and all of my services, free.

I was totally humiliated for having been so gullible. I couldn't believe she was doing this to me. She was suppose to love me. I was afraid for her soul.

As a Christian I believed that she loved me. In my Spirit, I believed that her coming back to me was only right. I had a vision of her partner giving her back to me. I had a dream of Satan attacking her and that I was her only hope.

I was truly committed to doing whatever was necessary to get her out of her mess. And even though she and her family had changed, I was willing to start again and love all of them unconditionally. But I am a fool and because I know I am not alone I write this to all the people who are as gullible as me.

God is love, but Satan can even deceive a good person. Beware of love! I talk a lot of the game of life and how each thing we experience has a purpose. We must not be defeated no matter what happens to us.

Many people who have been betrayed by love have committed suicide because of the pain. Believe me it sounds like a great option when you are in the throws of anguish, but it is not God's will.

We must face our betrayals with perseverance. We must make up our minds to lean on God and trust in the end that He will fight for our cause. Don't give up because Satan wants you to give up. Don't allow anyone to destroy your faith in God and your knowledge that He cares for you. Pray for strength and remember above everything else that God will never let you down when you cast your cares and give them to Him.

Luke 12: 4-7, "'I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot afterward do anything worse. I will show you whom to fear: fear God, who, after killing, has the authority to throw into hell. Believe me, he is the one you must fear!

Aren't five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one sparrow is forgotten by God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows!'"

Being betrayed by love is the hardest thing a person can endure! But God loves you and He is ready and able to defend your cause. God also loves the person who did you wrong, but unfortunately we always face the judge whether it is in this world or in eternity that is to come.

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Saturday, April 07, 2007

Online Dating - Tips for Successful Online Dating

Did you have a disastrous dating experience with someone? Do you hate hearing negative sentiments from your previous dating partners, such as your hair does not look good or you are one of the clones of Mr. Bean? Sometimes, such negative comments will make you quit dating and cause you to prefer staying at home rather than spending another evening hearing negative comments from your dating partners.

To ease the pain as well as the disappointment that you felt towards dating, let us change the way you look upon the subject. Dating is simply an ideal opportunity for you to meet a good friend or companion. Keep in mind that a successful marriage or relationship starts with a successful friendship. Cultivate the frindship first and everything else will follow.

In other words, do not expect that dating will always lead you to that special relationship. Such thoughts will just disappoint you and make you quit. In dating, there are just two possibilities: you may find a good friend or you may find a perfect mate. That should be the way you think about dating so that you will not feel disappointed every time you come across the wrong person. If he/she is not compatible with you as a mate, then why don't you try being friends first? You just need to keep your options open to avoid disappointment.

There are various websites that offer online dating for single individuals, whether you are looking for friends or a lifetime partner. You will first create your own personal profile and then make it attractive so it will catch the attention of other individuals looking for their respective dates online. In addition, you can also browse the personal profile of other individuals and see if he/she is compatible with you before you ask him/her to go for a date.

These are also important aspects that you need to consider when you prefer online dating;

- Examine carefully the personal profile of the individual you wish to ask for a date and remember, not all online dating participants are genuine. Some of them are just hanging out, and worse, disguising themselves behind an attractive personal dating profile to steal your identity. Thus, you need to protect your personal information. Do not give your real name or any other important information out if you do not know the individual who is asking for it. Keep in mind that it is a common practice that online dating participants make use of codenames to hide their identity.

- When making conversations, make sure you are a good listener. Do not be impatient if he/she does not give the information that you are asking for. Instead, show him/her that you can wait till you know one other better before you ask for more personal information.

Online dating is an ideal opportunity to start making friends and eventually land up with an ideal partner for life. Being positive and patient will take you a long way in finding the right person.

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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Sexual Problems In Relationships (2A) - Differing Gender Approaches

Both parties in any relationship, especially when the couples are older, bring a long sexual history, different instincts and preconceptions to the overall sexual experience. One partner may have masturbated almost daily since he first discovered his body and had fantasies of having intercourse with many different people. He might also have heard various stories about sex from friends, movies, parents, teachers, books etc., while the other partner may have been more sheltered and ignorant, or perhaps just stroked herself curiously without any sexual fantasies. Taken together, it means the likelihood of a big difference in self-knowledge and sexual confidence between any one couple.

According to one male writer, "Most inexperienced males imagine that really good sex consists of getting the woman partly undressed and then thrusting an enormous penis in and out of her vagina until they both explode simultaneously with a fantastic orgasm." But nothing could be further from the truth. The fantasy ends there because of the many hurdles awaiting us before that final conclusion. Being preoccupied with penis size, many men believe that 'the bigger the better'. But that is a definite myth.

Really great sex is not about penetration or penis size. It is more about what a man actually does with that penis when both partners are fully aroused. Our brain and our hands are far more erotic sexual tools than a penis on its own could ever hope to be! In fact, an inexperienced young woman is unlikely to be turned on by a penis at all and even less by its size! Until she understands and appreciates its usefulness, she may be scared of touching it and might even be repulsed by it, even though the man is likely to think that his penis is the greatest thing in the world, one which no woman can possibly do without!

Romance and the Trimmings

A woman is likely to be more stimulated by the emotion of the moment, the romance, the attention, the kisses, the caresses, the feeling of being wanted and being greatly appealing – difficult elements to label or put into words. Most women interviewed insist that warm, loving, emotional connections between themselves and their partners are essential to, and inseparable from, the experience of sexual ecstasy. Thus a well-romanced woman is a well-lubricated one and an explosion waiting to happen! This difference in sexual approach is the first misunderstanding between the two genders.

For this main reason, the first sexual encounters are usually fraught with danger. To begin with, most women view romance as the biggest turn-on to enjoying intercourse. As a prelude to any sex, a woman may fantasise about romantic settings in which she might be holding hands, talking, laughing, dancing, etc. Later on, the nice-looking, sweet-talking confident lover, with the great sense of humour (not the great penis!) admires her appeal and tells her about his feelings, his need for love, perhaps their future together, etc. She imagines being held tightly and kissed over and over, with perhaps some gentle caressing of various parts of her body. Eventually he undresses her and they have sex, but that isn't the end of her story. After love-making, she imagines being held, comforted and told that sex has brought them even closer. She expects reassurance that she was an exciting sex partner and that he will now want to do many other routine things with her, not just desire her body!

The man in the same situation is likely to perceive it most differently, especially if he just wants to have 'fun' and fancies a 'quick shag'. The fewer preliminaries, the better. Wining, dining and dancing are often regarded as necessary preludes that the man wants to conclude, sooner rather than later, in order to cut to the chase and get on with the action. Sex for women might be an integral part of an emotional connection, and take a long time to master, but many men do not necessarily need to put the two elements together for their satisfaction!

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Sunday, April 01, 2007

How the Internet Ruined Dating

When Internet dating services first became popular, singles approached with caution. Not sure if it was a sign of desperation or of hope, the single sector took a bit of time to decide if this avenue of meeting potential dates was the right choice. A lot has happened since that time, as Internet dating sites are popping up all over the web. No longer a sign of desperate measures, a large portion of adult singles have signed up to find their love on the Internet. But have they? Internet dating sites have reduced dating to a new low. These sites have twisted the concept of what dating should be.

With so many dating sites available, it may outwardly appear that the Internet provides a fantastic way of meeting someone special. However, for the majority of singles, just the opposite is true. There are two types of people who enter into online dating: those who are seeking a companion, a soul mate and hope to high Heaven that he or she is hiding inside their computer. The other type is the person who has allowed online dating to suck them into the dark hole of fake connections, dating without desire and an online false reality that what matters most is how many emails you receive as opposed to how many great people you actually meet.

The new generation of singles: The chronic online dater. Once entered into a site, they are able to write wonderful profiles. Sweeping tales of their charm, their fantastic lives and their desire to meet someone to share their life with. It is done with the goal of winning a game, a game in which their main purpose is to sucker in as many people as they can and feel desirable. They will sit endlessly at their computer, chatting online with two, three, four people at a time. It's all fun and games to them.

With so many connections to singles and with everyone chatting and emailing to numerous people all at once, many people have forgotten the reason they signed up for online dating in the first place. Once the connections are made online, real and actual dates are not the focus any more. Many people now prefer to stay hidden behind their computer screen. This allows them to be anyone they wish, not even to purposely decieve, but rather it provides a safe haven. It is a place where they do not need to show their flaws, they do not need for anyone to see that they do not look as perfect as their picture appears, they do not need to put effort into a real date.

Almost becoming addicted to having so many "computer" dates, people do not care anymore to have real ones. They find it far easier to have a conversation via computer: they can sit in their sweatpants, eating snacks and watching television as the chat away with their "date" for the evening. It seems to require too much effort for them to actually get dressed nice, drive to an establishment and conduct an in-person conversation. Why should they? The Internet has provided them with a way of feeling wanted, desired and popular. Heaven forbid they take steps to meet people in the real world, they are afraid of being exposed.

It is a sad world when a person is interested in someone, and that someone tells them, "I'll IM you later, we can talk". It's a very sad world indeed, when you must turn on your computer in the hopes that Mr. or Mrs. Right might propose going out on a real date. This dating situation has gotten so severe, it is almost shocking to people if they receive an actual phone call from a contact. A lot of people freeze up at that moment. They are so used to typing in silence, they forget what to say with their voice.

In addition, the Internet allows for people other than singles to enter into online dating. With percentages varying by site, every dating site that exists has married and attached men and women. They are not there to find a real date. They are there to see how many emails they can get. How many contacts they can add to their messenger service. How many people they can convince to turn on their web cams. And the people who choose to interact with them will never know of their martial status, becuase they will never really get to know these people. They will agree to stay in that computer world.

Younger people who are not old enough to enter online dating sites are the only ones with a true chance. Hopefully, they will continue to make themselves available and meet people in the real world. As for the generation that is already stuck inside the computer, there is little hope. Desensitized and becoming like computer drones, they have forgotten what it's all about. The art of catching someone's eyes, the butterflies you feel as you wonder just how you should go about approaching them, that wonderful feeling of seeing them smile when you introduce yourself, those days are gone...yes, it is indeed a sad dating world now.

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