Projekt Love Blog

Ladies, do you suspect your husband of cheating on you? One study reported that 59% of men admitted cheating on their wives, so it's not just a paranoid fantasy. It can and does happen, but how do you know if it's happening to you? Here are 9 signs that your husband may be cheating on you.

1) He carries condoms, and you are on the pill. Men are alway whining about having to use condoms, so you can bet that no man would use one if he doesn't have to. So, why does he have to? Who is he trying to keep from becoming pregnant, or catch an STD from?

2) You find unexplained scratches or bruises on his neck or back. It's very hard to scratch or bruise your own back, and it's not likely to happen accidentally.

3) He suddenly wants to try new sex techniques. Who is he practicing for, or who has he been practicing with?

4) His clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume. True, a department store sales clerk could have sprayed it on him, but how likely is that?

5) You see lipstick on your husband's shirt. No wonder men want to get right to it. Foreplay leaves evidence.

6) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car. You can't be cool with a child seat in your car. Besides that, it's a clue that there might be a child in his life, and, where there's a child, there's probably a woman. Definitely, not the image you want to project to the "other woman."

7) He works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub. If your husband is a salaried worker, you may have to give him a pass on this. If he's paid by the hour, though, he may be putting in overtime, but it's not at his job.

8) You find unexplained receipts, more frequent ATM withdrawals, and unexplained credit card charges. Note any strange dates and times. Is there a restaurant charge when he should have been at work? Cheating can be expensive.

9) He uses the computer late at night (when you're already in bed) or for an unusual amount of time. He uses free email services, such as hotmail, msn, yahoo, gmail, hushmail, etc. He quickly closes his web browser when you suddenly walk into the room. Looks like he might be hiding something, doesn't it?

Women often beat themselves up when they discover their husband is cheating. We ask ourselves, what did I do wrong, or, worse, what's wrong with me? That's usually a mistake. Unlike women, men often cheat just for sex or for the ego boost a new conquest gives them. That doesn't make it better, but it does mean that he often doesn't have the emotional connection to his lover that he does to his wife and family. If you want to save your marriage, there's a good chance that you can. It's up to you to decide if you want to try.

If like other men, you're facing the tragedy of cheating wives, I appreciate your effort to consider solutions despite your distress. In an effort to find answers about your wife's affair, take a moment to examine infidelity from a different perspective.

Let's look at cheating wives and infidelity as a hard-hitting symptom.

If you're running a high fever, and you feel ill, you may think, "I'm not well; something's wrong." Your fever, coughing, and sneezing are the symptoms of a cold, or worse, the flu.

Your doctor may recommend something to feel better, like Tylenol to bring down the fever. But, your doctor cannot cure the flu itself. It's the flu virus that's the source of all the bad feelings, fever, and coughing.

How does this apply to cheating wives? Well, the cheating is like the high fever that makes the flu feel so wicked. The reason she's cheating is the complex virus itself. Infidelity, then, is the hard-hitting symptom that gets all the attention.

You can never take enough Tylenol to make the flu go away. These quick-fix medications only treat the symptoms. Similarly, if you focus on just the affair and ignore the truth and history of your marriage, you'll fail to diagnose the real problems facing your partnership.

What does this mean in infidelity terms? If you merely see cheating as the issue, then you're not even scratching the surface of your marriage troubles. There are much bigger problems lying beneath the affair. There are layers of past pain, lack of intimacy, arguments, and more that all contributed to the end result of infidelity.

Affairs have a blinding effect on the entire relationship. The biggest problem with cheating wives is that the infidelity overshadows everything up until now. All the other great moments, sad times, and events that your marriage is built upon become obsolete. The affair itself suddenly becomes an obsession, and the only thing that matters.

It's like being angry at your fever, but never saying to yourself "I have the flu, that's why I'm sick." In other words, how much longer will you ignore that your marriage has a virus?

A common problem is that many people end their marriages suddenly when their spouse has an affair. Infidelity is the deal-breaker. Consequently, the marriage and the relationship never get mended. Couples don't take the time to notice what really happened. Husbands and wives don't heal. They walk away angry and hurt. The union itself, your perspectives, the red flags, the incidents that pecked away at your marriage, and all the potentially solvable dilemmas, never get attention.

With that said, you may be still wondering how today's cheating-wives ended up in an affair. What's embedded in all the layers beneath the infidelity? Visit http://www.all-about-cheating-wives-and-cheating-husbands.com for an honest look at today's cheating wives. In order to understand why she cheated, you must understand the basic needs of every woman.

This website is loaded with solutions for cheating wives and cheating husbands. So, use this resource fully to educate yourself, and validate your experiences. If at anytime, you need more solution-focused support to fix your marriage, or decide what what to do next, connect with me, your Infidelity Coach, by phone or e-mail listed below.