Tuesday, September 25, 2007
True Love - How We Have Misunderstood the True Nature of Love
Turning love on its head
In this article I am going to reason that most of us have got got completely misunderstood the true nature of love, and as a consequence, are detrimental our human relationships and creating jobs and wretchedness for ourselves.
For many of us it is in the country of love affair that we have the most powerful feelings of love. To happen person we love and who loves us, is a truly uplifting experience. Falling in love is often the emotional high-point of our lives. While some couples may be lucky adequate to prolong these feelings for a lifetime, most of us cognize from acrimonious experience that they often melt with time. The quality of our human relationships may then be severely compromised or end in failure. If this haps our demand for love is so strong that we will go on our search, perhaps finding a new partner, only to see the same jobs re-appear inch subsequent relationships. Our songs, books, verse forms and plays depict the rapture of determination love and the torment of losing it again. These experiences convert us that love is a fragile, transeunt phenomenon.
This is how most of us understand love. We see it as something that we miss and must therefore convey into our lives. In this book I will demo that this cardinal premise is at the bosom of all our problems. It have created an outward hunt for love that amends our human relationships and causes emotional suffering. It is only by ambitious our beliefs about love and reversing our premises that we can work out our jobs and happen permanent happiness.
So allow me define love in a completely different way:
Love is not a transeunt emotion or something that we miss and have got to convey into our lives - it is an intrinsical and static portion of us. It is our essence.
Of course, this new definition challenges virtually everything we cognize about love. Most of us have got experienced at first manus the manner in which feelings of love look to come up and travel depending on circumstances. While it is true that our emotions make fluctuate around the experience of love, our implicit in capacity for love stays constant. It is of import to separate between feelings of love and the loving chemical bond itself. The chemical chemical bond cannot be broken but we may take to experience or not to experience that bond. Let’s look in more than item at our romanticist relationships, because they are good topographic point to research these ideas.
As we fall in love, our romanticist dreaming come ups true. Any feelings of solitariness or emptiness that we experienced before the human relationship began will disappear, to be replaced by a assortment of positive sense experiences such as as joy, light-headedness, energy, hope, euphoria, creativeness and perhaps a sense of floating on air. We experience renewed and able to accomplish anything. We are convinced that we have got establish our perfect spouse and that our love will endure forever.
Clearly something astonishing haps to us during this procedure – we undergo a heightened state of consciousness and go deliriously happy. We can best understand these dramatic alterations in temper by looking at our demands and how they are fulfilled in a romanticist relationship. At the outset, both spouses have got a set of demands that they convey to the relationship, the most of import of which will be the need to be loved. In our conventional apprehension of love we would presume that the presence of our spouse have provided the love that we are lacking before we begin the relationship. We presume that our feelings of euphoria are our response to their gift of love. Our felicity goes conditional on the presence of our loving partner. We cognize that this is the lawsuit because if they left us, we would be devastated.
With our new apprehension of love we can suggest an option explanation. The procedure of falling in love takes the barriers that we have got been using to conceal our loving essence. At some point we do a subconscious mind pick to experience the euphoria – we give ourselves permission to experience all the love that is within us. The presence of our spouse is important, but only as the gun trigger to the release of self-love. With this interpretation, when we fall in love with our spouse we also fall in love with ourselves. The celerity with which we fall in love shows that we have got not learnt anything new – there wouldn’t be clip for that. We already cognize how to love and be loved because it is our essence. Falling in love is therefore a procedure of remembering who we really are.
The emotional result from both readings is identical. We undergo the same fantastic feelings of happiness, but the chemical mechanism is totally different. In one we believe we have got been given love from outside, and in the other we detect it within. This is a critical difference and have a profound impact on how we near not just our romanticist relationships, but all our human human relationships in life. The readings are based on two fundamentally different beliefs about love.
Our conventional apprehension of love is built on a belief in scarcity - that we are personally lacking in love and that there is never adequate love to travel round. In contrast, our new apprehension is built on the thought of abundance – that we are one hundred percentage complete when it come ups to love. This have got got some startling deductions - it turns everything we cognize about love on its head, for instance:
- If our kernel is love, we must have it in limitless supply.
- We no longer necessitate to search for love because we already have it.
- Although we may halt feeling love, we cannot lose it.
- Our experience of love is not determined by the amount of love we convey into our lives, but by the amount of love that we allow ourselves to feel.
- The quality of our human relationships will depend on how much love we are willing give to people and receive in return.
Much can be done to take the barriers that we have got erected to our loving essence. These volition always affect letting spell of our guiltiness and sense of insufficiency and telling our true selves. For more than information delight take a expression at our website – inside information below.
Labels: counselling, love, marriage counseling, relationship advice, relationship problems, relationships
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Pusanga - The Perfume Of Love
The quest for love unites us all. What if you could find it – and a simple perfume could help? That would be magic, wouldn't it? Read on!
In the spiritual traditions of the Amazon in Peru, this magical perfume is called pusanga. It is a made from flowers and plants which have the power to attract to the people who wear it the things they really want. For that reason, pusanga has developed an impressive reputation as "the love medicine of the Amazon"' because love, of course, is the thing most people do want!
HOW PERFUME ATTRACTS AND HEALS
Beautiful smells derived from flowers and herbs have always been used for healing and attracting love. Even the word 'perfume' comes from per fumer (Latin, 'through smoke'), and is a reference to its ritual use in ceremonies for the gods who offer love's blessings.
The ancient Greeks, for example, believed that sweet aromas were how the deities made their presence known. The oracle priestesses of Delphi would sit in the smoke of bay leaf incense to allow these gods to speak through them during divinations to help people in their search for love.
In India, too, seers called dainyals would surround themselves with smoke – this time of cedarwood - which would send them into trance and give them prophetic visions.
Fragrance has also long been associated with the arts of love. In Japan, Geisha girls priced their services according to the number of incense sticks consumed during love-making, while in Indian tantric rituals, men were anointed with sandalwood, and women with jasmine, patchouli, amber, and musk. Saffron was crushed and smeared beneath their feet.
The reason for these rituals is that smell is the most powerful of our senses and is able to stimulate desire, longing, and lust, stir our memories, and carry associations of love and happiness. Scientists have found that even a year after we meet a new person, their aroma stays in our minds, whereas visual memory drops to 50% after just three months, so we may not even remember their faces. The sense of smell is handled by the limbic system, which controls our emotions, so perfumes evoke feelings as well as memories, and we experience not just an odour but a mood.
This is the secret of pusanga. By mixing plants and flowers to create particular aromas which affect the moods of those who smell them, the shamans of the Amazon say that pusanga can cause anyone to fall hopelessly in love with the wearer. One of these shamans, Javier Aravelo, puts it this way: "When you pour pusanga onto your skin it penetrates your spirit and gives you the power to draw in love".
How you find the right plants to do this is another secret, known as the Doctrine of Signatures. This is the idea that the Creator has left a mark or "signature" on every plant in the world to show what it is used for. The discoverer of this phenomenon was Paracelsus, a 6th century alchemist who noticed how the appearance of plants so often reflects their qualities – that the seeds of skullcap, for example, resemble small skulls and, it turns out, are effective at curing headache, or that willow, which grows in damp places, heals rheumatic conditions, which are caused by damp and the build-up of fluid on the joints.
In fact, as Thomas Bartram, a modern herbalist, remarks in his Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine, "Examples are numerous. It is a curiosity that many liver remedies have yellow flowers, those for the nerves (blue), for the spleen (orange), for the bones (white). Serpentaria (Rauwolfia) resembles a snake and is an old traditional remedy for snake-bite. Herbalism confirms the Doctrine of Signatures".
AMAZON PUSANGA
Following this Doctrine, the basis for pusanga in the Amazon is agua de colpa. This is water collected from clay pools deep in the rainforest, where there are no people, only thousands of brightly-coloured animals who gather to drink from the water. Some of these animals are natural enemies, but at the clay pools they stand peacefully together to drink from water which is rich in mineral content and needed for their well-being. This water, in other words, has the power to attract some of the most beautiful creatures on the planet to a place where they exist harmoniously together.
Added to this magical water are special herbs, plants, barks, roots or leaves, which also have the quality of attraction due to their colours, names, or where and how they grow. In the rainforest, for example, there are vines called sogas, which are recognised as pusanga plants because they wrap themselves around trees and draw close to them so they grow together.
Special scented liquids, such as agua florida (which means "water for flourishing"), are also added to the mixture, which is then blessed by the shaman to empower it. This is done by blowing or singing into the pusanga, sometimes with the breath, sometimes with sacred tobacco smoke. The traditional blessing whispered to the pusanga is "salud, dinero y amor" ("health, money and love").
Once it is made, pusanga is used like a perfume, with a few drops rubbed on the pulse points of the wrists and neck, or a capful or two can be added to bath water.
MAKING YOUR OWN PUSANGA
If you want more love in your life (and who doesn't!) and would like to make pusanga of your own, just follow these instructions and romance will come your way!
The Doctrine of Signatures is your guide to collecting the plants you need. Pusanga plants for love all have certain characteristics. Their names are often significant, such as passionflower or honeysuckle ("honey" for sweetness and "suckle" for nurturing). Their colours are bright and attractive. The way they grow may also be important (ivy, for example, winds itself around other plants so the two intertwine and are drawn closer together). Their archetypal qualities may also call you (rose, for example, is nowadays practically synonymous with love). Where the plants grow can also have meaning (two plants standing together in sunlight within an otherwise dark forest signify a bright future, for example) – and so on. Look for plants that mean something to you and the desires you have.
When you locate each plant spend a little time with it, explaining your need and asking it to offer itself to you before you pick it (you don't need to take the whole plant; a single leaf, a flower, or a piece of bark will do as this contains the energy of the whole. Try to avoid taking roots if you can). Then, when you take a piece, offer your thanks and perhaps a gift of your own, such as corn or tobacco, as they do in the Amazon. All of this is important in helping you connect with nature and develop the right attitude of respect.
When you have the plants you want, take them home and put them in a clear bottle. If you intend to use the pusanga over a few days, you can fill the bottle with water taken from 'power places', such as Holy water from a church or a place of spiritual power like the Chalice Well at Glastonbury, or you can use spring or mineral water. If you want to keep the pusanga a while, though, it is better to use alcohol instead of water as this will preserve the plants.
You can also add aromatherapy oils to your blend, which, in traditional magic, also have helpful qualities. To attract a new lover, for example, add a few drops of rose, jasmine, and bergamot. For a 'deepening love' add rose, vanilla, and a sprinkling of gold glitter. For passion during love-making once you have found your mate, add ginger, patchouli, and sandalwood.
Finally, add your prayers to the mixture, too, as the shamans do, by blowing three times into the pusanga bottle while you tell the perfume what you want it to do for you. Then wear it as a scent and expect more love in your life!
Labels: herbs, love, magic, perfume, plants, relationships, shamanism, shamans
Friday, April 27, 2007
Quiz- What Kind Of Relationships Survive?
Do you not ask yourself about the relationships that survive? Do you not wonder when you find a couple in love with each other after years of being together? Are you interested in a relationship that may break down or one that survives? What should you look for? Let us discuss.
Attraction- I had once asked a question on a forum. It was- what kind of partner you like? What are the qualities that you are for? I got many answers. Some wanted intelligent partner. Some wanted smart partner. Some wanted a partner with sense of humor. Some were looking for maturity. Everybody had different ideas about the partner. I need a partner who will respect me, said one. I need a partner who I can respect said another. I am looking for a successful career person. Some body who is self-confident, said third and so on. The reply that attracted me most was- I am looking for a partner who is strongly attracted towards me.
That was the answer to the whole theory of partnership. You may have the most intelligent, smart, good looking, successful, leader and a person with all the qualities as your partner. But what if your partner is not attracted towards you? Will your relationship survive-certainly not.
If you are strongly attracted towards your partner and if your partner is equally attracted towards you, you will survive in the relationship for a much longer time. If both of you happen to share common interests and respect each other for your qualities, nothing better than that in my opinion. No partnership can survive if the partners do not get attracted to each other. The foundation of a relationship is attraction. Nothing else works. Call it initial infatuation, call it love, and call it romance. Give any word to this attraction, but you must have that to begin with. Compromise here is a sure recipe of failure.
Labels: relationships
Monday, April 16, 2007
How Learning To Love Yourself Can Build Better Romantic Relationships
One of the great things about being in a romantic relationship and knowing that someone is unconditionally in love with you is that it makes you feel wonderful about yourself. You see, healthy romantic relationships have a way of starting an amazing, unstoppable cycle: the more you fall in love with someone, the better you feel about yourself . . . and the better you feel about yourself, the more you are able to love someone.
The old cliche about "love thyself" is some of the best advice a romantic person can get to build a better, more loving relationship. I'm not taking about vain or conceited self-love; that type of mirror-gazing doesn't bring much to a romantic relationship. But feeling good about yourself, and being proud of yourself and the things you do, is one of the first steps we take in nurturing a healthy romance with another person.
We often discover wonderful things about ourselves when we're in love and are able to look through our lover's eyes. Just like hearing your own voice for the first time on a recording, seeing yourself through your romantic partner's eyes can be a surprising event. You may be initially skeptical to discover the reasons why your significant other loves you. You mean they love that about me? And they're proud of me for what?
Yes, it's true! Your romantic partner really is in love with you because of many qualities that you don't like about yourself or that you may have overlooked. And finding out what those things are might just help you appreciate those qualities in yourself, too.
Discovering the reasons why your sweetheart loves you can be a humbling, eye-opening experience that can help you appreciate your own good qualities even more. And by learning to appreciate your own good qualities, you'll be better able to give your lover more of what they love about you.
So if you haven't told your romantic partner what it is you love about them, today is the day to do it. It just might help them appreciate good qualities about themselves that they didn't realize they had.
And be sure to ask your lover, in return, to tell you what it is they love about you. You'll be amazed at how learning to love yourself more can improve your romantic relationship.
If you liked this article, I hope you'll visit Romance Tracker for to see the rest!
Labels: Advice, Dating, love, relationships, Romance, romantic
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The Pros and Cons of Using Drugs and Alcohol to Deal With Shyness
Are you shy? If you suffer from extreme shyness, you have probably wished there was a pill you could take that would make all your shyness just go away.
Researchers have discovered that some anti-depressant medications, particularly the kind called SSRI's (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors), can help people who suffer from a condition called social anxiety disorder to become more sociable.
This class of drugs seems to help people who are socially anxious to turn down the excessive volume of their inner judgmental thoughts.
Is it a good idea to take a pill to make you friendlier? There are pros and cons to be considered when deciding whether to take a drug for social anxiety. The SSRI drugs can cause insomnia, weight gain, nervous agitation, and a loss of sexual desire, as well as many other less common side effects. These drugs can also be quite expensive.
Because the SSRI drugs are relatively new, it is not yet known what the long-term effects of this class of drugs may be. Some doctors are concerned that society is trying to medicate shyness which is a normal human condition.
Yet many shy people who are overwhelmed with negative feelings of anxiety when they are around others turn to these medications to deal with their social anxiety.
When using SSRI medications, the improvement in sociability only lasts as long as the drug is taken on a regular basis. When the drug is discontinued, the symptoms of shyness will likely reappear.
Using Illegal Drugs Or Alcohol To Cope With Shyness
Many people who are shy or who have a fear of being rejected by others, try to deal with their fears by getting drunk or taking illegal drugs whenever they are at a party or in a social situation. This can be a dangerous way to try to deal with shyness or a fear of social rejection.
Have you developed the habit of drinking lots of alcohol or using illegal drugs so that you can relax around others and just let loose? Getting very drunk or stoned at parties so that you overcome your sensations of feeling anxious is very common with people who feel inadequate or shy.
There are many dangers with this approach, and it does not lead to any positive solutions.
You won't be at your best when you are intoxicated, and the people that you meet when you are drunk or stoned will only get to know your intoxicated self, not your real self. By abusing alcohol or drugs you also increase the risk of other negative outcomes such as getting into arguments and fights, and having serious accidents.
One danger of course is that you can become physically and psychologically addicted to drugs or alcohol. Eventually the addiction can cause even more serious problems in your life than the problems you started out with. If you rely on drugs and alcohol to get the courage to deal with other people, you will never develop the social and emotional skills needed to make real emotional connections to others.
Labels: alcohol, be at ease, drugs, fear of rejections, making friends, relationships, shy, shyness, SSRI's
Sunday, April 01, 2007
How the Internet Ruined Dating
When Internet dating services first became popular, singles approached with caution. Not sure if it was a sign of desperation or of hope, the single sector took a bit of time to decide if this avenue of meeting potential dates was the right choice. A lot has happened since that time, as Internet dating sites are popping up all over the web. No longer a sign of desperate measures, a large portion of adult singles have signed up to find their love on the Internet. But have they? Internet dating sites have reduced dating to a new low. These sites have twisted the concept of what dating should be.
With so many dating sites available, it may outwardly appear that the Internet provides a fantastic way of meeting someone special. However, for the majority of singles, just the opposite is true. There are two types of people who enter into online dating: those who are seeking a companion, a soul mate and hope to high Heaven that he or she is hiding inside their computer. The other type is the person who has allowed online dating to suck them into the dark hole of fake connections, dating without desire and an online false reality that what matters most is how many emails you receive as opposed to how many great people you actually meet.
The new generation of singles: The chronic online dater. Once entered into a site, they are able to write wonderful profiles. Sweeping tales of their charm, their fantastic lives and their desire to meet someone to share their life with. It is done with the goal of winning a game, a game in which their main purpose is to sucker in as many people as they can and feel desirable. They will sit endlessly at their computer, chatting online with two, three, four people at a time. It's all fun and games to them.
With so many connections to singles and with everyone chatting and emailing to numerous people all at once, many people have forgotten the reason they signed up for online dating in the first place. Once the connections are made online, real and actual dates are not the focus any more. Many people now prefer to stay hidden behind their computer screen. This allows them to be anyone they wish, not even to purposely decieve, but rather it provides a safe haven. It is a place where they do not need to show their flaws, they do not need for anyone to see that they do not look as perfect as their picture appears, they do not need to put effort into a real date.
Almost becoming addicted to having so many "computer" dates, people do not care anymore to have real ones. They find it far easier to have a conversation via computer: they can sit in their sweatpants, eating snacks and watching television as the chat away with their "date" for the evening. It seems to require too much effort for them to actually get dressed nice, drive to an establishment and conduct an in-person conversation. Why should they? The Internet has provided them with a way of feeling wanted, desired and popular. Heaven forbid they take steps to meet people in the real world, they are afraid of being exposed.
It is a sad world when a person is interested in someone, and that someone tells them, "I'll IM you later, we can talk". It's a very sad world indeed, when you must turn on your computer in the hopes that Mr. or Mrs. Right might propose going out on a real date. This dating situation has gotten so severe, it is almost shocking to people if they receive an actual phone call from a contact. A lot of people freeze up at that moment. They are so used to typing in silence, they forget what to say with their voice.
In addition, the Internet allows for people other than singles to enter into online dating. With percentages varying by site, every dating site that exists has married and attached men and women. They are not there to find a real date. They are there to see how many emails they can get. How many contacts they can add to their messenger service. How many people they can convince to turn on their web cams. And the people who choose to interact with them will never know of their martial status, becuase they will never really get to know these people. They will agree to stay in that computer world.
Younger people who are not old enough to enter online dating sites are the only ones with a true chance. Hopefully, they will continue to make themselves available and meet people in the real world. As for the generation that is already stuck inside the computer, there is little hope. Desensitized and becoming like computer drones, they have forgotten what it's all about. The art of catching someone's eyes, the butterflies you feel as you wonder just how you should go about approaching them, that wonderful feeling of seeing them smile when you introduce yourself, those days are gone...yes, it is indeed a sad dating world now.
Labels: Dating, Internet dating, men, online dating, relationship, relationships, women
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Cheating Wives - The Hard-Hitting Reality
If like other men, you're facing the tragedy of cheating wives, I appreciate your effort to consider solutions despite your distress. In an effort to find answers about your wife's affair, take a moment to examine infidelity from a different perspective.
Let's look at cheating wives and infidelity as a hard-hitting symptom.
If you're running a high fever, and you feel ill, you may think, "I'm not well; something's wrong." Your fever, coughing, and sneezing are the symptoms of a cold, or worse, the flu.
Your doctor may recommend something to feel better, like Tylenol to bring down the fever. But, your doctor cannot cure the flu itself. It's the flu virus that's the source of all the bad feelings, fever, and coughing.
How does this apply to cheating wives? Well, the cheating is like the high fever that makes the flu feel so wicked. The reason she's cheating is the complex virus itself. Infidelity, then, is the hard-hitting symptom that gets all the attention.
You can never take enough Tylenol to make the flu go away. These quick-fix medications only treat the symptoms. Similarly, if you focus on just the affair and ignore the truth and history of your marriage, you'll fail to diagnose the real problems facing your partnership.
What does this mean in infidelity terms? If you merely see cheating as the issue, then you're not even scratching the surface of your marriage troubles. There are much bigger problems lying beneath the affair. There are layers of past pain, lack of intimacy, arguments, and more that all contributed to the end result of infidelity.
Affairs have a blinding effect on the entire relationship. The biggest problem with cheating wives is that the infidelity overshadows everything up until now. All the other great moments, sad times, and events that your marriage is built upon become obsolete. The affair itself suddenly becomes an obsession, and the only thing that matters.
It's like being angry at your fever, but never saying to yourself "I have the flu, that's why I'm sick." In other words, how much longer will you ignore that your marriage has a virus?
A common problem is that many people end their marriages suddenly when their spouse has an affair. Infidelity is the deal-breaker. Consequently, the marriage and the relationship never get mended. Couples don't take the time to notice what really happened. Husbands and wives don't heal. They walk away angry and hurt. The union itself, your perspectives, the red flags, the incidents that pecked away at your marriage, and all the potentially solvable dilemmas, never get attention.
With that said, you may be still wondering how today's cheating-wives ended up in an affair. What's embedded in all the layers beneath the infidelity? Visit http://www.all-about-cheating-wives-and-cheating-husbands.com for an honest look at today's cheating wives. In order to understand why she cheated, you must understand the basic needs of every woman.
This website is loaded with solutions for cheating wives and cheating husbands. So, use this resource fully to educate yourself, and validate your experiences. If at anytime, you need more solution-focused support to fix your marriage, or decide what what to do next, connect with me, your Infidelity Coach, by phone or e-mail listed below.
Labels: Adultery, Affairs, Cheating, Dating, Infidelity, Marriage, relationships
Monday, March 19, 2007
I Love You But You Don't
Its only human to love and it is perhaps the most precious gift given to us by nature. It brings a new meaning to our existence, adds a whole new dimension to otherwise, mundane life. We fall in love with someone and expect the same feelings and passion to be reciprocated from the one we have fallen for, "he is my everything", "she is the reason, I am alive".
To start with we feel this way because we try our best to make the object of our love literally, the happiest person alive on earth. We can go any extent to make them feel that we descended on earth, only for them and are here for only one purpose, "to make you happy". We do things we otherwise would not even think of doing or simply hate doing, we'd cook even if we didn't know how to light the gas, " I am trying, and I know I will like it because I am doing it for you". " I will watch the match with you on TV and I know I will like it because I you want me to".
You didn't like it doing for your father, mother, sister, brother or your friends but you hope or know for sure you will like it for this person because you think you love him and he/she too verifies this by repeating it several times a day. No harm, that's why they say love is blind and I will add to it that it is deaf and dumb too.
Once you have done all the right things to make your partner happy, or to say, you have followed all the correct procedures to a highly profitable investment, its time to enjoy the proceeds. Now, how satisfied one feels from what follows depends a lot on our situation in life at that point and time, our expectations, which are generally very high and our own nature. Some of us, may feel satisfied with what we get, some of us wont be that happy but will be willing to wait for better proceeds to come and most of us will be thinking that it is not what I had estimated or its not matching up with what or how much I had invested, its just not fair and I will get what I want.
At this stage, the meaning of "he is my everything" and " she is the reason, I am alive" changes all together. Like before, once again there is a new dimension in your life, because you did everything to please him/her so you feel entitled to just about everything that belongs to this person, not just his/her house, car, TV, pet but his/her time, thoughts, feelings, past, present, future everything. S/he is no longer your love, its a territory that you have conquered and will make sure you will make good use of it after all you worked so hard on it and also made sacrifices. The tug of war begins and the outcome, nobody wins, someone has to quit, either it will be you or your love. But this is not what you want, you want to win and also want your partner to stay because you still love him/her its just that s/he didn't meet your expectations.
To avoid such situations or to improve on it, one has to remember that loving somebody does not mean not loving yourself or forgetting oneself. It does not mean being selfish either. Bringing happiness in others life is a wonderful thing but that does not mean you sever all contacts with reality in the process. Its fine do things for someone, you otherwise normally would not do but don't make it a habit and sacrifice your individuality. Its not only harmful for you but is also for the other person as you become dependent on him/her totally, the relationship becomes suffocating and one looses the freedom one had before.
The essence of life is growth, the real meaning of love is to be there for the person you love and help them achieve what they want in life not forgetting your own purpose. It's a simple rule, if you are happy only then will you be able to be make someone else happy and your happiness should only be dependent on one person and that is –you not someone else because each one of us think and feel differently and have our own way of living life. If you are handing over your remote to someone else then you loose the right to complain as to why are you not doing it my way.
We have to constantly be doing the balancing act, its up to us how creatively we do it, that is what is life all about and the key to it, is to be self dependent not just economically but mentally and emotionally as well and that will enable us to keep our remotes in our hands.
Labels: better, good, happy, how to, life, love, marraige, men, relationships, women
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Relationship Tid Bits (Cold Feet Part 2)
As promised here is my second article on cold feet. For the most part this syndrome really isn't anything to worry about except in extreme cases. You just have to make sure you don't let these silly fears make decisions for you. So quit thinking silly thoughts about whether you should get married or not and get on with your life
Tip 1
Okay the first thing I want you to do is write down all the things that are worrying you about getting married. I am willing to bet that most people can't even get through an entire sentence. However for those of you who do get a sentence or several of them I want you to have a good look. Do any of them even have anything to do with your engagement or with you getting married? You might think they have to do with marriage but really wondering if you're going to be a good father or something like that comes with time and you will find that out later. So for now I just want you to concentrate on getting married.
Tip 2
Now it is time to write a letter to the person you are going to marry. If you love this person you are going to come up with paragraphs and paragraphs of sweet, lusty things to say. This will only strengthen the fact that you love this person and that you want to carry on with the wedding. Now for the small minority of you who can't write a nice thing about your partner then yes maybe you should be taking a good look at what you are about to do.
Tip 3
If wedding bells are in the future then by now there should be an array of pictures with you and your future spouse. So go ahead and look at them and see how they make you feel. For the most part I bet you are going to have a lot of good memories in those pictures. These memories are going to convince you that you want to be in more pictures and you want to make more memories. Now once again in the rare case that you can't stand looking at the pictures then yes maybe you should do some serious thinking about what you are about to do.
Labels: cold feet, relationships