Projekt Love Blog

Its only human to love and it is perhaps the most precious gift given to us by nature. It brings a new meaning to our existence, adds a whole new dimension to otherwise, mundane life. We fall in love with someone and expect the same feelings and passion to be reciprocated from the one we have fallen for, "he is my everything", "she is the reason, I am alive".

To start with we feel this way because we try our best to make the object of our love literally, the happiest person alive on earth. We can go any extent to make them feel that we descended on earth, only for them and are here for only one purpose, "to make you happy". We do things we otherwise would not even think of doing or simply hate doing, we'd cook even if we didn't know how to light the gas, " I am trying, and I know I will like it because I am doing it for you". " I will watch the match with you on TV and I know I will like it because I you want me to".
You didn't like it doing for your father, mother, sister, brother or your friends but you hope or know for sure you will like it for this person because you think you love him and he/she too verifies this by repeating it several times a day. No harm, that's why they say love is blind and I will add to it that it is deaf and dumb too.

Once you have done all the right things to make your partner happy, or to say, you have followed all the correct procedures to a highly profitable investment, its time to enjoy the proceeds. Now, how satisfied one feels from what follows depends a lot on our situation in life at that point and time, our expectations, which are generally very high and our own nature. Some of us, may feel satisfied with what we get, some of us wont be that happy but will be willing to wait for better proceeds to come and most of us will be thinking that it is not what I had estimated or its not matching up with what or how much I had invested, its just not fair and I will get what I want.

At this stage, the meaning of "he is my everything" and " she is the reason, I am alive" changes all together. Like before, once again there is a new dimension in your life, because you did everything to please him/her so you feel entitled to just about everything that belongs to this person, not just his/her house, car, TV, pet but his/her time, thoughts, feelings, past, present, future everything. S/he is no longer your love, its a territory that you have conquered and will make sure you will make good use of it after all you worked so hard on it and also made sacrifices. The tug of war begins and the outcome, nobody wins, someone has to quit, either it will be you or your love. But this is not what you want, you want to win and also want your partner to stay because you still love him/her its just that s/he didn't meet your expectations.

To avoid such situations or to improve on it, one has to remember that loving somebody does not mean not loving yourself or forgetting oneself. It does not mean being selfish either. Bringing happiness in others life is a wonderful thing but that does not mean you sever all contacts with reality in the process. Its fine do things for someone, you otherwise normally would not do but don't make it a habit and sacrifice your individuality. Its not only harmful for you but is also for the other person as you become dependent on him/her totally, the relationship becomes suffocating and one looses the freedom one had before.
The essence of life is growth, the real meaning of love is to be there for the person you love and help them achieve what they want in life not forgetting your own purpose. It's a simple rule, if you are happy only then will you be able to be make someone else happy and your happiness should only be dependent on one person and that is –you not someone else because each one of us think and feel differently and have our own way of living life. If you are handing over your remote to someone else then you loose the right to complain as to why are you not doing it my way.

We have to constantly be doing the balancing act, its up to us how creatively we do it, that is what is life all about and the key to it, is to be self dependent not just economically but mentally and emotionally as well and that will enable us to keep our remotes in our hands.