Tuesday, September 25, 2007
True Love - How We Have Misunderstood the True Nature of Love
Turning love on its head
In this article I am going to reason that most of us have got got completely misunderstood the true nature of love, and as a consequence, are detrimental our human relationships and creating jobs and wretchedness for ourselves.
For many of us it is in the country of love affair that we have the most powerful feelings of love. To happen person we love and who loves us, is a truly uplifting experience. Falling in love is often the emotional high-point of our lives. While some couples may be lucky adequate to prolong these feelings for a lifetime, most of us cognize from acrimonious experience that they often melt with time. The quality of our human relationships may then be severely compromised or end in failure. If this haps our demand for love is so strong that we will go on our search, perhaps finding a new partner, only to see the same jobs re-appear inch subsequent relationships. Our songs, books, verse forms and plays depict the rapture of determination love and the torment of losing it again. These experiences convert us that love is a fragile, transeunt phenomenon.
This is how most of us understand love. We see it as something that we miss and must therefore convey into our lives. In this book I will demo that this cardinal premise is at the bosom of all our problems. It have created an outward hunt for love that amends our human relationships and causes emotional suffering. It is only by ambitious our beliefs about love and reversing our premises that we can work out our jobs and happen permanent happiness.
So allow me define love in a completely different way:
Love is not a transeunt emotion or something that we miss and have got to convey into our lives - it is an intrinsical and static portion of us. It is our essence.
Of course, this new definition challenges virtually everything we cognize about love. Most of us have got experienced at first manus the manner in which feelings of love look to come up and travel depending on circumstances. While it is true that our emotions make fluctuate around the experience of love, our implicit in capacity for love stays constant. It is of import to separate between feelings of love and the loving chemical bond itself. The chemical chemical bond cannot be broken but we may take to experience or not to experience that bond. Let’s look in more than item at our romanticist relationships, because they are good topographic point to research these ideas.
As we fall in love, our romanticist dreaming come ups true. Any feelings of solitariness or emptiness that we experienced before the human relationship began will disappear, to be replaced by a assortment of positive sense experiences such as as joy, light-headedness, energy, hope, euphoria, creativeness and perhaps a sense of floating on air. We experience renewed and able to accomplish anything. We are convinced that we have got establish our perfect spouse and that our love will endure forever.
Clearly something astonishing haps to us during this procedure – we undergo a heightened state of consciousness and go deliriously happy. We can best understand these dramatic alterations in temper by looking at our demands and how they are fulfilled in a romanticist relationship. At the outset, both spouses have got a set of demands that they convey to the relationship, the most of import of which will be the need to be loved. In our conventional apprehension of love we would presume that the presence of our spouse have provided the love that we are lacking before we begin the relationship. We presume that our feelings of euphoria are our response to their gift of love. Our felicity goes conditional on the presence of our loving partner. We cognize that this is the lawsuit because if they left us, we would be devastated.
With our new apprehension of love we can suggest an option explanation. The procedure of falling in love takes the barriers that we have got been using to conceal our loving essence. At some point we do a subconscious mind pick to experience the euphoria – we give ourselves permission to experience all the love that is within us. The presence of our spouse is important, but only as the gun trigger to the release of self-love. With this interpretation, when we fall in love with our spouse we also fall in love with ourselves. The celerity with which we fall in love shows that we have got not learnt anything new – there wouldn’t be clip for that. We already cognize how to love and be loved because it is our essence. Falling in love is therefore a procedure of remembering who we really are.
The emotional result from both readings is identical. We undergo the same fantastic feelings of happiness, but the chemical mechanism is totally different. In one we believe we have got been given love from outside, and in the other we detect it within. This is a critical difference and have a profound impact on how we near not just our romanticist relationships, but all our human human relationships in life. The readings are based on two fundamentally different beliefs about love.
Our conventional apprehension of love is built on a belief in scarcity - that we are personally lacking in love and that there is never adequate love to travel round. In contrast, our new apprehension is built on the thought of abundance – that we are one hundred percentage complete when it come ups to love. This have got got some startling deductions - it turns everything we cognize about love on its head, for instance:
- If our kernel is love, we must have it in limitless supply.
- We no longer necessitate to search for love because we already have it.
- Although we may halt feeling love, we cannot lose it.
- Our experience of love is not determined by the amount of love we convey into our lives, but by the amount of love that we allow ourselves to feel.
- The quality of our human relationships will depend on how much love we are willing give to people and receive in return.
Much can be done to take the barriers that we have got erected to our loving essence. These volition always affect letting spell of our guiltiness and sense of insufficiency and telling our true selves. For more than information delight take a expression at our website – inside information below.
Labels: counselling, love, marriage counseling, relationship advice, relationship problems, relationships
Monday, September 10, 2007
Are You With the One You Love?
I was reading a chap blogger's posting the other twenty-four hours and it really really got me thinking. The article was based on the film Serendipity, a romanticist comedy. The plot line travels that two complete aliens run into each other and chemical science hits them like an atomic bomb but fate took over, they parted, went their individual ways back to their several partners. 5 old age ahead, both are about to acquire married, but they still have got got got each other on their mind!
I have been there before…
Ok, although nearly not as dramatic, I have been in a place where I still harbored ideas about person else while I was in a relationship. Not everyone can confess to that, and most maintain it within ourselves, but I can almost think that most of us dwell with "what-ifs" in mention to a love, lecherousness or memory we just can't erase. I didn't beat nor did I take stairway to advance an affair, but I secretly did clasp the torch for a very long clip and occasionally wondered, what if.
I was talking to my BFF and she told me about her tally in with her ex and his new biddy (a arch term we utilize on all ex-husbands new "friend"). She confessed that she still believes of him occasionally but could never see herself marrying him…ever. Funny isn't it how some loves and lovers lodge with us and go forth such as a deep grade in our lives. Who cognizes what will ever go on if we make up one's mind to take the plunge. I cognize one such as a friend who was in a fantastic relationship, but chose to prosecute the adult male of her dreams. She told me that she couldn't acquire dreamboat out of her head and she would repent her life if she never tried. It was a disaster! She lost both of them, along with the human relationship and friendship.
Some similar her are audacious adequate to try, but I doubt I'll be willing to destroy a good thing by caving in to temptation. Then again, who knows. After all, I make still throw the torch for that person…
Labels: affair, first love, love, loving another, relationship, Romance
Friday, September 07, 2007
Unconditional Love - You Will Have to Taste to Believe?
We look to have got misconstrued the word love with maltreatment and heartache, butterflies and bosom shaped candy somewhere along the way. We have got forgotten what it truly intends to love in a Godhead sense. Selfish love is characterized by fulfilment of deeply dark frozen satisfactions. Selfish love fascinates and permeates the world. To actually define the word love is very difficult. Just as words can not exactly depict the manner a watermelon vine have flavor. You simply must savor it to believe.
Divinty in and of itself necessitate no condition, is limitless, and without change. To love unconditionally takes a very understanding, centered and well grounded individual who demoes compassionateness when dealing with others. Many people make not have got this capabilty, they can larn to work on it, but many people will not take the clip to larn how.
The best representaion to show pure love, as unconditional as a love can get, is a father or mothers' love. Take for instance, a kid who do many errors with the usage of drugs and alcohol, travels to jail, and continually acquires into some kind of problem with a god-fearing declaration to discontinue everytime they experience the wrath. The kid remains in trouble, but the father or female parent will always love them, unconditonally. No substance what the love stays the same regardless of how many modern times the kid messinesses up. They wish it could be different for them but through it all they still love them the manner they should, unconditionally.
More often than not, people in human relationships give up to easily. They state I love you, and bend around the adjacent twenty-four hours and make something to totally belie the true significance of these words. They might as well not blow their breath. Inevitably one of the two have done something that one makes not hold with so they no longer desire to state I love you, until that individual is perfect. This is childish. True love in its most prue word form makes not judge, or critcize. True love lets you to be the individual you are and do your ain errors and still no substance what be loved. True and unconditional love have no condition. Unconditional love is safe, secure, and warm. We could all utilize a liitle more of pure love.
Labels: boyfriends, friendship, girlfriends, love, lovers, relationship
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Free Hypnotic Tips To Win Your Love
Love is the most beautiful expression that a living creature can ever experience or posses. We human beings have to suffer too many tragedies, sorrows plus fear, fear of losing our love, so we better chose to reveal our love.
But with hypnosis and hypnotic visualization, you can make this beautiful expression as the best and eternal piece of your emotions. We all dream about a person who can love us, desires about someone's genuine touch, someone's affection, a tender hug and a warm kiss. Its is very certain that every one desires for the companionship of a true loving but one thing is equally uncertain and that is whether we get the love of the person whom we love. How will you be certain of winning your love?
The power of hypnotic visualization is simply unbeatable. There is a famous saying to prove the eminent power of imagination 'what we became and what we are is because we have first imagined it.' So know you know the power of hypnotic visualization. Visualizing a thing motivates you to achieve that thing.
Hypnotic visualization:
So, forget everything, let your heart feel the warmth of someone's caressing your parts, sight of a pure love, a beautiful hug and a sensuous kiss. Feel your heart beat rising not with fear with the feeling of joy and excitement as your love is with you. Imagine how you would feel being with your loved one. Visualize your lover in your arms; his/ her body is touching you. Can you feel the warmth of your lover's body?
Let no thoughts disturb you. Simply flow with the love because that love is the true love. Don't speak the word let the heart beats speak, let your eyes communicate and let your feelings reveal your need for love.
This is beauty of hypnotic visualization. When you are in love with someone and you want that someone to love, all you have to do is to simply imagine (hypnotic visualization). Remember when you visualize something with your heart, your mind receives some vibrations and it then strives to achieve that thing. Therefore, "Simply Imagine."
Something can badly affect your love life:
Hypnosis reveals you something that can spoil your love life. As per hypnotic visualization the way you love depends on what type of person you are. Remember, love has everything to do with your heart and mind. If you can keep your heart healthy and in good relation with you, then you can have all the love you want. If you are depressed or sad then you can never be a good and satisfying lover. If you are happy and enthusiastic towards life then you can make good love relationship.
Picture your heart. You may use hypnotic visualization power as imagining yourself like I am actual biological heart, or it may even be a symbolic valentine heart. Feel good to be a good lover.
Go ahead and ask your heart about how it is feeling today. Is it feeling sad? Lonely? Disappointed? Understand the way it is feeling. Hear what it has to say to you. Then tell your heart that you are trying to make it feel better. Use hypnotic visualization.
What is the condition of your heart? Is it sad? Or is it youthful. Does it look healthy? Or is it torn or wounded? Is it wounded? Now repair your heart. You have all the tools required. If it is torn at places, stitch them. If it is wounded, then treat its wound.
When your heart looks healthy, fill it to the brim with light. Imagine the shining light flow into your heart and reach it's every nook and corner. Your heart is not only healthy now it even feels alive. Listen to your heartbeats? As we have already discussed about the hypnotic visualization.
Make it feel good. Thank your heart for keeping you alive. Applaud its tireless performance. The more you thank your heart, the healthier it gets.
Are you ready to win your love? Hypnotic visualization prepares you to win your love:
Now that your heart is healthy and happy, you are now ready to win love. Picture the person you love or whom you desire the most (hypnotic visualization). See the person clearly? How does she/he look? What color is the hair? What kind of clothes he/she is wearing? How tall is the person? Is there any gesture that is distinctively his/hers?
Let the person appear in front of you. How far is the person? Bring him/her closer to at the most five feet away from you. Now, picture your healthy heart connected to his/her heart. You may use any material you like for connection. A rope, chain, satin ribbon – it can be just anything. It can be even imaginary. The goal is to connect love to love, so a sense of energy flows between you both. In hypnotic visualization make sure that you know what your aim is. Hypnotic visualization works best when you know what you want.
Once you have connected love, visualize yourself doing something loving to the person you love. Do anything that people who love each other does. Walk hand in hand, go for a dance, sit across for some ice cream, love each other, hug each other – you may even kiss each other.
The more you use hypnotic visualization for the person you love in the way described above, the stronger the love flows between you both. Until one day, you really embrace and kiss the person to say how much you love her/him. Learn to express your love and you can best do that by touching or kissing.
And if ever you feel that love is beginning to fade, go through the hypnotic visualization again.
Never let your love die …. Make it eternal ….. with hypnotic visualization
Click Here for more information to make your love successful...
Labels: hypnosis, Hypnotic visualization, love
Friday, May 25, 2007
The Greatest Language of Love
Love, is where two hearts meet and knit together through happiness and sadness. Love can make many hearts skip with excitement yet love can also cause many broken hearts. It takes little effort for one to become a romantic partner. The many creative and interesting ways to add romance in relationship can be readily found in books, magazines, and the internet. It takes great effort for those in pursuit of a deeper love relationship that could survive many unprepared and unexpected storms. Many will readily say "yes" when asked whether they are romantic lovers. However, few will admit that they are consummate lovers that does not seek the returns of love but are willing to devote their lives in giving true happiness to the person they love.
Whether you are in love, falling out of love or have never been in love, it is never too early or too late to learn the greatest language of love. Learning to love is a growing process. It always starts off with the special feelings that could not get your mind off from thinking about the special person. If such feelings are experienced by the two persons who are about to fall in love, it leads to an eclectic stage where both eyes and hearts are strongly magnetized towards each other. Great deal of time is now spent together as the sparks of love turn into burning flames; where romance is at its peak. However, this journey of love which initially took off to Caribbean beach; surrounded by sunset and paradise, soon landed on the pathway of reality. The flames of love have gradually smothered as the demands and expectations of life set in.
For some, the flames have smothered into shimmering sparks similar to that found in the fire flies. These sparks are soon carried by the fire flies to ignite another flame with someone else. This is when love causes heartaches and trust, betrayed. Yet for many, the flames have smothered into dust, leaving the relationship dry and dull. This is when the very core of love is tested. The survivability of the relationship is no longer depended on whether roses are given or romantic candle light dinner is prepared. It is about whether the relationship can survive the storm with determination and commitment to help each face the storm; as well as unconditional and sacrificial love to give hope and faith in surviving the storm together.
In facing such relentless storm that could break or build the relationship, what is the greatest language of love? Most conservatists will opt for the most classic language that is widely spoken, from youthful passions to mature companionships, a language that has touched and warmed many hearts: "I Love You"! As simple and classic as it may sound, some took great bravery to confess it; some said it casually to create momentary romance that soon fades away; while many have said it again and again, to the point of death that life has ended well because of the power of love.
This indeed is the greatest language of love. Not spoken with selfish and manipulative intentions but with the deepest desire to cherish the moments spent with your loved one, to be a pillar of strength though various seasons of life, and to hold on tightly to each other even at the point of diminishing hope, because after the storm is gone, sunrise and sunset will soon appear. The storm is here but a moment. The sunset and sunrise last a life time for as long as both hearts keep guarding the flames and never put it off……"till death do us part".
Labels: Dating, I love you, language of love, love, love communication, love language, relationship
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Pusanga - The Perfume Of Love
The quest for love unites us all. What if you could find it – and a simple perfume could help? That would be magic, wouldn't it? Read on!
In the spiritual traditions of the Amazon in Peru, this magical perfume is called pusanga. It is a made from flowers and plants which have the power to attract to the people who wear it the things they really want. For that reason, pusanga has developed an impressive reputation as "the love medicine of the Amazon"' because love, of course, is the thing most people do want!
HOW PERFUME ATTRACTS AND HEALS
Beautiful smells derived from flowers and herbs have always been used for healing and attracting love. Even the word 'perfume' comes from per fumer (Latin, 'through smoke'), and is a reference to its ritual use in ceremonies for the gods who offer love's blessings.
The ancient Greeks, for example, believed that sweet aromas were how the deities made their presence known. The oracle priestesses of Delphi would sit in the smoke of bay leaf incense to allow these gods to speak through them during divinations to help people in their search for love.
In India, too, seers called dainyals would surround themselves with smoke – this time of cedarwood - which would send them into trance and give them prophetic visions.
Fragrance has also long been associated with the arts of love. In Japan, Geisha girls priced their services according to the number of incense sticks consumed during love-making, while in Indian tantric rituals, men were anointed with sandalwood, and women with jasmine, patchouli, amber, and musk. Saffron was crushed and smeared beneath their feet.
The reason for these rituals is that smell is the most powerful of our senses and is able to stimulate desire, longing, and lust, stir our memories, and carry associations of love and happiness. Scientists have found that even a year after we meet a new person, their aroma stays in our minds, whereas visual memory drops to 50% after just three months, so we may not even remember their faces. The sense of smell is handled by the limbic system, which controls our emotions, so perfumes evoke feelings as well as memories, and we experience not just an odour but a mood.
This is the secret of pusanga. By mixing plants and flowers to create particular aromas which affect the moods of those who smell them, the shamans of the Amazon say that pusanga can cause anyone to fall hopelessly in love with the wearer. One of these shamans, Javier Aravelo, puts it this way: "When you pour pusanga onto your skin it penetrates your spirit and gives you the power to draw in love".
How you find the right plants to do this is another secret, known as the Doctrine of Signatures. This is the idea that the Creator has left a mark or "signature" on every plant in the world to show what it is used for. The discoverer of this phenomenon was Paracelsus, a 6th century alchemist who noticed how the appearance of plants so often reflects their qualities – that the seeds of skullcap, for example, resemble small skulls and, it turns out, are effective at curing headache, or that willow, which grows in damp places, heals rheumatic conditions, which are caused by damp and the build-up of fluid on the joints.
In fact, as Thomas Bartram, a modern herbalist, remarks in his Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine, "Examples are numerous. It is a curiosity that many liver remedies have yellow flowers, those for the nerves (blue), for the spleen (orange), for the bones (white). Serpentaria (Rauwolfia) resembles a snake and is an old traditional remedy for snake-bite. Herbalism confirms the Doctrine of Signatures".
AMAZON PUSANGA
Following this Doctrine, the basis for pusanga in the Amazon is agua de colpa. This is water collected from clay pools deep in the rainforest, where there are no people, only thousands of brightly-coloured animals who gather to drink from the water. Some of these animals are natural enemies, but at the clay pools they stand peacefully together to drink from water which is rich in mineral content and needed for their well-being. This water, in other words, has the power to attract some of the most beautiful creatures on the planet to a place where they exist harmoniously together.
Added to this magical water are special herbs, plants, barks, roots or leaves, which also have the quality of attraction due to their colours, names, or where and how they grow. In the rainforest, for example, there are vines called sogas, which are recognised as pusanga plants because they wrap themselves around trees and draw close to them so they grow together.
Special scented liquids, such as agua florida (which means "water for flourishing"), are also added to the mixture, which is then blessed by the shaman to empower it. This is done by blowing or singing into the pusanga, sometimes with the breath, sometimes with sacred tobacco smoke. The traditional blessing whispered to the pusanga is "salud, dinero y amor" ("health, money and love").
Once it is made, pusanga is used like a perfume, with a few drops rubbed on the pulse points of the wrists and neck, or a capful or two can be added to bath water.
MAKING YOUR OWN PUSANGA
If you want more love in your life (and who doesn't!) and would like to make pusanga of your own, just follow these instructions and romance will come your way!
The Doctrine of Signatures is your guide to collecting the plants you need. Pusanga plants for love all have certain characteristics. Their names are often significant, such as passionflower or honeysuckle ("honey" for sweetness and "suckle" for nurturing). Their colours are bright and attractive. The way they grow may also be important (ivy, for example, winds itself around other plants so the two intertwine and are drawn closer together). Their archetypal qualities may also call you (rose, for example, is nowadays practically synonymous with love). Where the plants grow can also have meaning (two plants standing together in sunlight within an otherwise dark forest signify a bright future, for example) – and so on. Look for plants that mean something to you and the desires you have.
When you locate each plant spend a little time with it, explaining your need and asking it to offer itself to you before you pick it (you don't need to take the whole plant; a single leaf, a flower, or a piece of bark will do as this contains the energy of the whole. Try to avoid taking roots if you can). Then, when you take a piece, offer your thanks and perhaps a gift of your own, such as corn or tobacco, as they do in the Amazon. All of this is important in helping you connect with nature and develop the right attitude of respect.
When you have the plants you want, take them home and put them in a clear bottle. If you intend to use the pusanga over a few days, you can fill the bottle with water taken from 'power places', such as Holy water from a church or a place of spiritual power like the Chalice Well at Glastonbury, or you can use spring or mineral water. If you want to keep the pusanga a while, though, it is better to use alcohol instead of water as this will preserve the plants.
You can also add aromatherapy oils to your blend, which, in traditional magic, also have helpful qualities. To attract a new lover, for example, add a few drops of rose, jasmine, and bergamot. For a 'deepening love' add rose, vanilla, and a sprinkling of gold glitter. For passion during love-making once you have found your mate, add ginger, patchouli, and sandalwood.
Finally, add your prayers to the mixture, too, as the shamans do, by blowing three times into the pusanga bottle while you tell the perfume what you want it to do for you. Then wear it as a scent and expect more love in your life!
Labels: herbs, love, magic, perfume, plants, relationships, shamanism, shamans
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
What is Love
Have you ever been in love? Some people are not quite sure. Other people say that they know they are in love now, so what they thought was love in the past must not have been. Knowing if you are in love is not always easy because love is such a complex emotion.
For centuries, artist, poets, philosophers, writers, and musicians have tried to define love through their work. Romantic notions of love express it as a quality of devotion that one feels towards another person. Yet the meaning of love for each person is highly complex. Here are some examples of how it has been expressed
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but looking in the same direction together." – Antoine de Saint–Exupery
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love." – Sophocles
"Love sees with the heart and not the mind; therefore; winged cupid is painted blind." – William Shakespeare
"My love there's only you in my life… You're every breath that I take; you're every step I make." – Lionel Richie,
"My love is like a red rose, that's newly sprung in June, My love is like the melodies, that's sweetly play's in tune." —Robert Burns
"You say that you love me like a river, a river you say will never run dry…Don't use that magical, mysterious, intoxicating, joy, fantastic, fascinating word called love unless you love me to the nines…the kind of love that takes over your body, mind and soul." —Prince
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." —Woody Allen
"Love cannot be explain, it can only be understand" – Syed Qutubuddin
Another reason why it's so difficult to define love is that many people confuse it with the feelings of lust. Love makes you feel energized, content, and emotionally stable. Lust makes you feel anxious, jealous, and possessive. Lust, or infatuation, is based on sexual attraction. At first when you meet someone you are attracted to, you may feel a strong connection and label it as love or even, maybe, as love at first sight. But what you are most likely feeling is attraction, of lust.
If you only wants to have sex with someone you love, then how are you going to be sure that you love someone? Most often, time is the factor that answers this question. If you let several months pass and you still feel love for the person then you might be more certain that your feelings are real. As your involvement with the person grows, you may feel a deeper affection and a need to bond ever more with the person. In this case, love may grow into attachment.
With each person, the feelings of "falling in love" will be new type of sensation sometimes you fall in love with a friend you have known for years. Sometimes you fall in love with stranger you see across a crowded room. No two loves are alike
According to psychologist Richards Sternberg's theory of love, true love is based on a balance of three elements: commitment, intimacy, and passion. He explained that if any of those elements is missing you could still have love, yet different kind of love. The following illustration explains.
Because there are so many different types of love, and because everyone defines love so differently, it will be helpful to your relationship if you explain to your partner the type of love you feel. I'm hopeful that you will both understand each other maybe ever feel similar types of love for each other!
Intimacy = FRIENDSHIP
Passion = INFATUATION
Commitment = EMPTY LOVE
Passion + Intimacy = ROMANCE
Passion + Commitment = LUSTFUL RELATIONSHIP
Commitment + intimacy = COMPANIONSHIP
Commitment + intimacy + Passion = TRUE LOVE
Labels: love, Love and Sex, Love at first sight, Romance, sex, Types of Love, What is love
Monday, April 16, 2007
How Learning To Love Yourself Can Build Better Romantic Relationships
One of the great things about being in a romantic relationship and knowing that someone is unconditionally in love with you is that it makes you feel wonderful about yourself. You see, healthy romantic relationships have a way of starting an amazing, unstoppable cycle: the more you fall in love with someone, the better you feel about yourself . . . and the better you feel about yourself, the more you are able to love someone.
The old cliche about "love thyself" is some of the best advice a romantic person can get to build a better, more loving relationship. I'm not taking about vain or conceited self-love; that type of mirror-gazing doesn't bring much to a romantic relationship. But feeling good about yourself, and being proud of yourself and the things you do, is one of the first steps we take in nurturing a healthy romance with another person.
We often discover wonderful things about ourselves when we're in love and are able to look through our lover's eyes. Just like hearing your own voice for the first time on a recording, seeing yourself through your romantic partner's eyes can be a surprising event. You may be initially skeptical to discover the reasons why your significant other loves you. You mean they love that about me? And they're proud of me for what?
Yes, it's true! Your romantic partner really is in love with you because of many qualities that you don't like about yourself or that you may have overlooked. And finding out what those things are might just help you appreciate those qualities in yourself, too.
Discovering the reasons why your sweetheart loves you can be a humbling, eye-opening experience that can help you appreciate your own good qualities even more. And by learning to appreciate your own good qualities, you'll be better able to give your lover more of what they love about you.
So if you haven't told your romantic partner what it is you love about them, today is the day to do it. It just might help them appreciate good qualities about themselves that they didn't realize they had.
And be sure to ask your lover, in return, to tell you what it is they love about you. You'll be amazed at how learning to love yourself more can improve your romantic relationship.
If you liked this article, I hope you'll visit Romance Tracker for to see the rest!
Labels: Advice, Dating, love, relationships, Romance, romantic
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Betrayed By Love
A beautiful woman can inspire a person to do just about anything. But it is their heart that reveals the character of the person. Beware she can capture you through lies of love. She can be an instrument of Satan who wants to deceive you and lead you down to a trap that is meant for your destruction.
In the game of life one of the biggest players is our emotions. Feelings can make a person become jealous and words of love can make a soul willing to give anything in order to have that love.
When I was young I fell head over heals in love. This person made my heart jump. She made me want to defy all things just to have her love. But after many years of being together we both went our separate ways.
But the love never ended between us. It stayed in both of our hearts and we would talk often on the phone. She was a decorator and I was an upholster and it was only natural for us to continue our mutual business even though she was with another person. She ran the business and paid me for my upholster services. We worked as business partners and best friends who shared a past, that was all.
Over the years we shared stories about our children and we prayed together for their lives and for each of our grandchildren as each of them were born. We always stated our love for each other. Even though we were going down different roads.
After three and a half years everything changed she broke up with the person she was with. It seemed only natural for me to believe that we could once again be together. But this time things were very different.
When we first departed company, finances were tight, so in an effort to help I took out a mortgage on my home and I handed over the money to my ex, with the understanding that she would make the mortgage payment every month.
But she was desperate again and as a result I began making the payment. That wasn't enough, she needed more money in order to pay bills that she had that were outstanding so she could leave the person she was with.
I believed everything she said, trusting that she was telling me the truth when she said that she was coming back to me. She kept assuring me that she loved me and she would use the money to get untangled from the person she was with. Out of complete trust and love, I gave her several thousand dollars.
A month passed and she continued to tell me of how bad it was to be where she was and how the person she was with didn't love her anymore. She explained how hard it was for her to leave because everything in the house was hers, but the house itself was the other persons.
She complained the business they ran together was failing and the upholstery business wasn't doing well either. She said in order for her to leave she needed to get the taxes done and lay down guidelines for her partner of how to pay each bill since she had always handled the business side.
Everything she said made since and being of high moral character, I didn't want to bring harm of any kind on the person she was with. So I began doing all upholstery free of charge and I paid for supplies, material, foam and even gas to go pick up the furniture I was doing for them.
I could see their relationship was strained. But I was careful not to ask how they were doing respecting their privacy and knowing the plans that we were making after they had totally parted company.
Two more months passed and she continued to state her love to me and that she was coming back to me. So when her partner went on a trip she invited me to her house. I went because we hadn't been together for several years and that way we could talk about the next step of her getting out of the house.
I was disturbed that she was still wearing a wedding ring on her hand and that she still slept in the same bed with her partner. She handed me a group of pictures she had kept of myself and my children and I asked her if she was still coming back to me?
She assured me that she was coming back to me. She had had enough from the emotional ups and downs of her partner, who was eighteen years younger than her and she felt a deep connection and love between us. She said that she was wearing the rings out of habit. And that she was just protecting the pictures she had of me from her partner. She denied that she was sleeping in the same bed.
Then she told me she had come up with a plan to get her furniture out of the house. She would tell her partner that she was selling the furniture we had once owned together back to me. I listened to what she said but I was unwilling to give her money at that time. I left her house and went four hours back to my home.
Everything she said to me made my heart break. I loved her and I wanted her back and if this is what it was going to take, I was willing to give her everything I had to help. She called me telling me that her partner would break her stuff if I didn't do this. Priceless memories of our life together would be destroyed.
Plans were made, and I met them with the newly reupholstered furniture. I wrote another check for the furniture, pictures and art pieces that were suppose to be the beginning of her leaving her partner.
In two days we were to meet again with another load until we had emptied the house of everything we had together as a couple. She said her partner was stupid and would never suspect what she was doing until she was out of the house for good.
We made plans to rendezvous together on the in between days. So we could be together and talk out plans. It all seemed fair and reasonable to me. Or maybe I am the most gullible person in the world. She called and wanted to postpone us meeting together until the next week, I agreed.
The check I wrote to her cleared the bank and suddenly she stopped calling me. I emailed her to see what was happening and she had cut off the email. I was stunned and shocked over her behavior and I did not understand what was going on.
I left messages on the phone and my calls were not returned. She had stated over and over again that she loved me. She assured me that she was coming back to me.
I didn't know how to handle her betrayal and her utter contempt for my feelings. The pain I felt was a crushing blow when I realized she not only had stabbed me in the heart, but she had taken ten's of thousands of dollars from me without any intention of paying it back.
I felt ashamed and asked God to help me to survive the pain. I wasn't allowed to communicate and the pain of heart break brought an emptiness inside of my being that was excruciating. I felt as if I was being punished for love.
There is no justice for fools. The check could not be stopped because it already cleared. Going to an attorney to sue would just prolong my pain from the deceit and cost me more money. The agreement we had together was verbal. Even though I confessed my plans to my children I did not tell them I was giving her money and all of my services, free.
I was totally humiliated for having been so gullible. I couldn't believe she was doing this to me. She was suppose to love me. I was afraid for her soul.
As a Christian I believed that she loved me. In my Spirit, I believed that her coming back to me was only right. I had a vision of her partner giving her back to me. I had a dream of Satan attacking her and that I was her only hope.
I was truly committed to doing whatever was necessary to get her out of her mess. And even though she and her family had changed, I was willing to start again and love all of them unconditionally. But I am a fool and because I know I am not alone I write this to all the people who are as gullible as me.
God is love, but Satan can even deceive a good person. Beware of love! I talk a lot of the game of life and how each thing we experience has a purpose. We must not be defeated no matter what happens to us.
Many people who have been betrayed by love have committed suicide because of the pain. Believe me it sounds like a great option when you are in the throws of anguish, but it is not God's will.
We must face our betrayals with perseverance. We must make up our minds to lean on God and trust in the end that He will fight for our cause. Don't give up because Satan wants you to give up. Don't allow anyone to destroy your faith in God and your knowledge that He cares for you. Pray for strength and remember above everything else that God will never let you down when you cast your cares and give them to Him.
Luke 12: 4-7, "'I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot afterward do anything worse. I will show you whom to fear: fear God, who, after killing, has the authority to throw into hell. Believe me, he is the one you must fear!
Aren't five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one sparrow is forgotten by God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows!'"
Being betrayed by love is the hardest thing a person can endure! But God loves you and He is ready and able to defend your cause. God also loves the person who did you wrong, but unfortunately we always face the judge whether it is in this world or in eternity that is to come.
Labels: betrayal, divorce, emotions, eternity, family, God, judge, loss, love, Marriage, money, relation, revenge, Spirit
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Doing Business (And Life) With Love
The evolution of consciousness takes so many different forms and shapes. Clearly there are many paths to the same place. Yet, there is one doorway those who choose awakened living all share. Eventually, as we unravel our resistance, and release our blocks to our own Magnificence we find ourselves standing at the entrance to our own hearts. And at some point, we must, walk in.
Yesterday I gave a workshop to introduce a group of budding business owners to the principles of Aware Entrepreneurship. For many of them the old forms of business don't work anymore. Hard sell tactics are of no interest. Managing with worry and fear only increases their stress and depletes them and they know it. Putting the bottom line before personal well-being no longer makes sense.
These are people who know that they want to stay connected to their hearts as they proceed in their work. They understand that they have unique gifts to offer and they want to build venues for their contributions without sacrificing their joy or their health.
So they are faced with a dilemma - How to build businesses that allow them to stay connected to their essence while getting things done in the world?
In my work I help individuals and groups build a foundation for conscious enterprise beginning with this action: Stop the Internal Violence You Do to Your Own Self.
The most primary personal and professional work you can ever do for yourself, your colleagues, clients and customers is to release any unloving attitudes or behaviors you inflict upon your own self.
Be Kind: Replace Harshness with Tenderness
Be Present: Cultivate Acceptance of What is Happening Right Now
Be Inclusive: Cherish All Aspects of Your Self
These may seem like little things and yet by practicing them you can change the whole atmosphere of your life – both inside and out. Once you have established kindness, presence and the inclusive embrace of all that you are you will have a loving home base to work from. From here you will find that you naturally extend the same kindness, presence and welcome inclusiveness to those who choose your products or services. The path of heart is the best foundation for healthy relationships. It also contributes to the blossoming of health. It sets the stage for wealth – and opens the door for the fulfillment of purpose.
Love is the real force and the fuel that helps us to release struggle. The Choice to Love - self and others and life itself! - provides us with a way to link peaceful living with wordly success. They belong together.
Labels: aware entrepreneur, business, kindness in business, love, personal professional growth, success
Monday, March 19, 2007
I Love You But You Don't
Its only human to love and it is perhaps the most precious gift given to us by nature. It brings a new meaning to our existence, adds a whole new dimension to otherwise, mundane life. We fall in love with someone and expect the same feelings and passion to be reciprocated from the one we have fallen for, "he is my everything", "she is the reason, I am alive".
To start with we feel this way because we try our best to make the object of our love literally, the happiest person alive on earth. We can go any extent to make them feel that we descended on earth, only for them and are here for only one purpose, "to make you happy". We do things we otherwise would not even think of doing or simply hate doing, we'd cook even if we didn't know how to light the gas, " I am trying, and I know I will like it because I am doing it for you". " I will watch the match with you on TV and I know I will like it because I you want me to".
You didn't like it doing for your father, mother, sister, brother or your friends but you hope or know for sure you will like it for this person because you think you love him and he/she too verifies this by repeating it several times a day. No harm, that's why they say love is blind and I will add to it that it is deaf and dumb too.
Once you have done all the right things to make your partner happy, or to say, you have followed all the correct procedures to a highly profitable investment, its time to enjoy the proceeds. Now, how satisfied one feels from what follows depends a lot on our situation in life at that point and time, our expectations, which are generally very high and our own nature. Some of us, may feel satisfied with what we get, some of us wont be that happy but will be willing to wait for better proceeds to come and most of us will be thinking that it is not what I had estimated or its not matching up with what or how much I had invested, its just not fair and I will get what I want.
At this stage, the meaning of "he is my everything" and " she is the reason, I am alive" changes all together. Like before, once again there is a new dimension in your life, because you did everything to please him/her so you feel entitled to just about everything that belongs to this person, not just his/her house, car, TV, pet but his/her time, thoughts, feelings, past, present, future everything. S/he is no longer your love, its a territory that you have conquered and will make sure you will make good use of it after all you worked so hard on it and also made sacrifices. The tug of war begins and the outcome, nobody wins, someone has to quit, either it will be you or your love. But this is not what you want, you want to win and also want your partner to stay because you still love him/her its just that s/he didn't meet your expectations.
To avoid such situations or to improve on it, one has to remember that loving somebody does not mean not loving yourself or forgetting oneself. It does not mean being selfish either. Bringing happiness in others life is a wonderful thing but that does not mean you sever all contacts with reality in the process. Its fine do things for someone, you otherwise normally would not do but don't make it a habit and sacrifice your individuality. Its not only harmful for you but is also for the other person as you become dependent on him/her totally, the relationship becomes suffocating and one looses the freedom one had before.
The essence of life is growth, the real meaning of love is to be there for the person you love and help them achieve what they want in life not forgetting your own purpose. It's a simple rule, if you are happy only then will you be able to be make someone else happy and your happiness should only be dependent on one person and that is –you not someone else because each one of us think and feel differently and have our own way of living life. If you are handing over your remote to someone else then you loose the right to complain as to why are you not doing it my way.
We have to constantly be doing the balancing act, its up to us how creatively we do it, that is what is life all about and the key to it, is to be self dependent not just economically but mentally and emotionally as well and that will enable us to keep our remotes in our hands.
Labels: better, good, happy, how to, life, love, marraige, men, relationships, women
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Be Creative
People all around the world exchange words of love. Wonder how many people must have expressed these words of love? Mostly people say it in a simple way "I love you" with a bouquet of flower or a soft kiss. It is not a new notion but something that has been done since ages. Each one of us falls in love and find out ways to express our love. Yet there are married couples who often remind each other that they love one another in different ways. Most of the people go for the normal way of expressing their feelings.
But there are great lovers who adopt various methods to shoe their emotions. Conveying your love in such a different style makes your love life interesting and exciting and as often said interest and excitement are essential for a relationship especially that this not very new.
Instead of simply saying three words "I love you" do something new to express these words. There are various ways of articulating your love. Be creative and come up with innovative ideas. You could do some creative writing and stick it on the bathroom door so that early morning he or she receives your love note and is filled with a smile early morning.
A wonderful suggestion is to request your mate's favorite song along with a love message on a radio station that could be played while he is driving home tired from his work. Such an act of yours will help vanish his tiredness and make him feel refreshed.
You could also assort songs that you both like in a CD or a cassette player and give her while she is going for work. It will make her active and in high spirits.
Being creative adds freshness to a relationship. If such steps are not taken it makes a quite boring. Couples in a relationship do require some kind of change otherwise their relationship gets monotonous. Just expressing your love in a different way is in itself a change. You should be creative and not consider such actions as immature or childish. They are just a way to make your relationship filled with excitement and entertainment. It is a life living with a difference.
Labels: couples, love, relationship