Tuesday, September 25, 2007

True Love - How We Have Misunderstood the True Nature of Love

Turning love on its head

In this article I am going to reason that most of us have got got completely misunderstood the true nature of love, and as a consequence, are detrimental our human relationships and creating jobs and wretchedness for ourselves.

For many of us it is in the country of love affair that we have the most powerful feelings of love. To happen person we love and who loves us, is a truly uplifting experience. Falling in love is often the emotional high-point of our lives. While some couples may be lucky adequate to prolong these feelings for a lifetime, most of us cognize from acrimonious experience that they often melt with time. The quality of our human relationships may then be severely compromised or end in failure. If this haps our demand for love is so strong that we will go on our search, perhaps finding a new partner, only to see the same jobs re-appear inch subsequent relationships. Our songs, books, verse forms and plays depict the rapture of determination love and the torment of losing it again. These experiences convert us that love is a fragile, transeunt phenomenon.

This is how most of us understand love. We see it as something that we miss and must therefore convey into our lives. In this book I will demo that this cardinal premise is at the bosom of all our problems. It have created an outward hunt for love that amends our human relationships and causes emotional suffering. It is only by ambitious our beliefs about love and reversing our premises that we can work out our jobs and happen permanent happiness.

So allow me define love in a completely different way:

Love is not a transeunt emotion or something that we miss and have got to convey into our lives - it is an intrinsical and static portion of us. It is our essence.

Of course, this new definition challenges virtually everything we cognize about love. Most of us have got experienced at first manus the manner in which feelings of love look to come up and travel depending on circumstances. While it is true that our emotions make fluctuate around the experience of love, our implicit in capacity for love stays constant. It is of import to separate between feelings of love and the loving chemical bond itself. The chemical chemical bond cannot be broken but we may take to experience or not to experience that bond. Let’s look in more than item at our romanticist relationships, because they are good topographic point to research these ideas.

As we fall in love, our romanticist dreaming come ups true. Any feelings of solitariness or emptiness that we experienced before the human relationship began will disappear, to be replaced by a assortment of positive sense experiences such as as joy, light-headedness, energy, hope, euphoria, creativeness and perhaps a sense of floating on air. We experience renewed and able to accomplish anything. We are convinced that we have got establish our perfect spouse and that our love will endure forever.

Clearly something astonishing haps to us during this procedure – we undergo a heightened state of consciousness and go deliriously happy. We can best understand these dramatic alterations in temper by looking at our demands and how they are fulfilled in a romanticist relationship. At the outset, both spouses have got a set of demands that they convey to the relationship, the most of import of which will be the need to be loved. In our conventional apprehension of love we would presume that the presence of our spouse have provided the love that we are lacking before we begin the relationship. We presume that our feelings of euphoria are our response to their gift of love. Our felicity goes conditional on the presence of our loving partner. We cognize that this is the lawsuit because if they left us, we would be devastated.

With our new apprehension of love we can suggest an option explanation. The procedure of falling in love takes the barriers that we have got been using to conceal our loving essence. At some point we do a subconscious mind pick to experience the euphoria – we give ourselves permission to experience all the love that is within us. The presence of our spouse is important, but only as the gun trigger to the release of self-love. With this interpretation, when we fall in love with our spouse we also fall in love with ourselves. The celerity with which we fall in love shows that we have got not learnt anything new – there wouldn’t be clip for that. We already cognize how to love and be loved because it is our essence. Falling in love is therefore a procedure of remembering who we really are.

The emotional result from both readings is identical. We undergo the same fantastic feelings of happiness, but the chemical mechanism is totally different. In one we believe we have got been given love from outside, and in the other we detect it within. This is a critical difference and have a profound impact on how we near not just our romanticist relationships, but all our human human relationships in life. The readings are based on two fundamentally different beliefs about love.

Our conventional apprehension of love is built on a belief in scarcity - that we are personally lacking in love and that there is never adequate love to travel round. In contrast, our new apprehension is built on the thought of abundance – that we are one hundred percentage complete when it come ups to love. This have got got some startling deductions - it turns everything we cognize about love on its head, for instance:

  • If our kernel is love, we must have it in limitless supply.

  • We no longer necessitate to search for love because we already have it.

  • Although we may halt feeling love, we cannot lose it.

  • Our experience of love is not determined by the amount of love we convey into our lives, but by the amount of love that we allow ourselves to feel.

  • The quality of our human relationships will depend on how much love we are willing give to people and receive in return.
These are challenging ideas. If it is true that our kernel is one of love and we have got it in abundant supply, then the first and most obvious inquiry we will inquire is: “Why don’t we undergo love and felicity more often in our lives”? The truth is that we put a figure of statuses on whether or not we entree our loving essence. In holding back the love, we raise barriers and make smokescreens that conceal us and other people from our true identity. Most of us are largely unaware that we make these things.

Much can be done to take the barriers that we have got erected to our loving essence. These volition always affect letting spell of our guiltiness and sense of insufficiency and telling our true selves. For more than information delight take a expression at our website – inside information below.

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