Sunday, April 01, 2007

How the Internet Ruined Dating

When Internet dating services first became popular, singles approached with caution. Not sure if it was a sign of desperation or of hope, the single sector took a bit of time to decide if this avenue of meeting potential dates was the right choice. A lot has happened since that time, as Internet dating sites are popping up all over the web. No longer a sign of desperate measures, a large portion of adult singles have signed up to find their love on the Internet. But have they? Internet dating sites have reduced dating to a new low. These sites have twisted the concept of what dating should be.

With so many dating sites available, it may outwardly appear that the Internet provides a fantastic way of meeting someone special. However, for the majority of singles, just the opposite is true. There are two types of people who enter into online dating: those who are seeking a companion, a soul mate and hope to high Heaven that he or she is hiding inside their computer. The other type is the person who has allowed online dating to suck them into the dark hole of fake connections, dating without desire and an online false reality that what matters most is how many emails you receive as opposed to how many great people you actually meet.

The new generation of singles: The chronic online dater. Once entered into a site, they are able to write wonderful profiles. Sweeping tales of their charm, their fantastic lives and their desire to meet someone to share their life with. It is done with the goal of winning a game, a game in which their main purpose is to sucker in as many people as they can and feel desirable. They will sit endlessly at their computer, chatting online with two, three, four people at a time. It's all fun and games to them.

With so many connections to singles and with everyone chatting and emailing to numerous people all at once, many people have forgotten the reason they signed up for online dating in the first place. Once the connections are made online, real and actual dates are not the focus any more. Many people now prefer to stay hidden behind their computer screen. This allows them to be anyone they wish, not even to purposely decieve, but rather it provides a safe haven. It is a place where they do not need to show their flaws, they do not need for anyone to see that they do not look as perfect as their picture appears, they do not need to put effort into a real date.

Almost becoming addicted to having so many "computer" dates, people do not care anymore to have real ones. They find it far easier to have a conversation via computer: they can sit in their sweatpants, eating snacks and watching television as the chat away with their "date" for the evening. It seems to require too much effort for them to actually get dressed nice, drive to an establishment and conduct an in-person conversation. Why should they? The Internet has provided them with a way of feeling wanted, desired and popular. Heaven forbid they take steps to meet people in the real world, they are afraid of being exposed.

It is a sad world when a person is interested in someone, and that someone tells them, "I'll IM you later, we can talk". It's a very sad world indeed, when you must turn on your computer in the hopes that Mr. or Mrs. Right might propose going out on a real date. This dating situation has gotten so severe, it is almost shocking to people if they receive an actual phone call from a contact. A lot of people freeze up at that moment. They are so used to typing in silence, they forget what to say with their voice.

In addition, the Internet allows for people other than singles to enter into online dating. With percentages varying by site, every dating site that exists has married and attached men and women. They are not there to find a real date. They are there to see how many emails they can get. How many contacts they can add to their messenger service. How many people they can convince to turn on their web cams. And the people who choose to interact with them will never know of their martial status, becuase they will never really get to know these people. They will agree to stay in that computer world.

Younger people who are not old enough to enter online dating sites are the only ones with a true chance. Hopefully, they will continue to make themselves available and meet people in the real world. As for the generation that is already stuck inside the computer, there is little hope. Desensitized and becoming like computer drones, they have forgotten what it's all about. The art of catching someone's eyes, the butterflies you feel as you wonder just how you should go about approaching them, that wonderful feeling of seeing them smile when you introduce yourself, those days are gone...yes, it is indeed a sad dating world now.

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