Projekt Love Blog

The reason an emotional affair can be more threatening to a marriage is that the spouse is replaced by the lover who then becomes the primary source of companionship and emotional well being.

Statistics say that one in five men have affairs, and one in six women have affairs and this number among women is climbing, these numbers are even higher if you include emotional affairs. Peggy Vaughan, the author of The Monogamy Myth estimates the chances of a woman having either an emotional affair or physical affair at some time in her marriage is estimated at 50%.

Often men view their spouses as being critical and feel they are unable to please them no matter how hard they try. This stimulates a man to cling to the emotional reinforcement of someone who thinks they are the most wonderful person in the world and can do no wrong, despite being married.

Some of the most common social and marital circumstances can pave the way and lead to emotional affairs with even the happiest couples.

Most emotional affairs start in the workplace where there is an increased social contact with the opposite sex and as married couples spend less and less time with their partners, temptation becomes considerably easier. When a man or women spend more time with a co-worker, teammate, or friend under these conditions it has a tendency to develop in to much, much more.

When there are commonalities with someone of the opposite sex whether it be in the workplace or not powerful bonds can be created. These bonds can sometimes become more compelling than the bond with their partner, especially if a marriage is already in trouble.

Can men and women be just friend and not have an emotional (or physical) affair? Most people, as well as some experts say---no! In the movie 'When Harry Met Sally', Harry's response was..."No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her." Some experts will agree that it is NOT o kay for your spouses' best friend be someone of the opposite sex.

If your spouse is secretive or defensive about a relationship under these conditions and you do suspect an emotional affair, you should confront your spouse openly and honestly. You should be able to talk about the limitations concerning these types of relationships.